need to scramble for help.
At any rate they wanted me to wait until the commune chief who
spoke a little English came by. After he got a sense of what was
happening he called the owner of the complex, a real estate guy
whose number was right there on his sign, which I could also
have done, and had him come down, a 15 minute drive, to verify
who I was. It was relatively easy to get it all sorted out.
You also don’t get asked for your vehicle registration. You keep
all the paperwork when you buy a car, but the original name stays
on the registration card. Maybe locals can update their cards eas-
ily, and it used to be possible for expats, but now we can only get
the registration in our name if the car is new. I expect they’ll
eventually want everyone to have up-to-date info on their regis-
trations, until then it’s the old info: the name on my registration
goes back two owners. Some people don’t even bother with
plates for their bikes. Police set up checkpoints occasionally to
nab people for not wearing helmets and not having side mirrors
and car drivers not using seat belts (which I rarely do). Some-
times that won’t happen for 6 months.
Most motorbikes here are what people call scooters in the US,
i.e.,125CCs or less. Here we call them motos. They’re a mainstay
of life in Cambodia. As well as people transport, they cart around
a lot of amazing freight; live pigs, propane tanks… Motos are
one of the things that makes living here very easy for expats.
Almost everybody drives them, even lots of people who could
afford four wheels. You can get a fairly decent Korean made
used Daelim for $300 and since last year the PM decreed you
don’t need a driver’s license to operate one. They’re very cheap
to fix and easy to drive. You can zip around town and environs
and it hardly costs anything. I almost feel a little guilty driving a
car around, though it’s a tiny car, but motos and I just don’t get
along. For me it’s either a bicycle or a car.
Sure you can get bunged up on a bike, but they don’t go very
fast, making you marginally better off. I just don’t like going so
fast with only air around me.
It’s also easy to rent a moto, about $5/day, which means a lot of
very inexperienced drivers are out there tooling around. Almost
every Kampot expat has a souvenir scar. Still it’s fun for a lot of
people and for off-roaders it’s more than fun it’s a passion.
There’s no shortage of rough dirt roads to bounce around on.
You can drive as fast as you want, no cop will ever chase after
you. You can have a dozen empty beer cans in your car, but if
For about a month my little Bugger, my 1994 Daewoo Tico, had
only one working headlight, the right one and it wasn’t very
bright.
The chances of a cop stopping me for that infraction is nil.
Never happen. Until recently there weren’t any cops out at
night, except that every commune, and there are several around
town, has police on duty. They also recently set up two shipping
container police posts in prominent areas. The cops might be
dozing off in a hammock, but they
are available when needed. After
frequent reports from foreigners of
bag snatchings and a few robberies
they put cops out at night, but they
mostly congregate on a specific
park bench near where many of the
reports were based. I guess they’re
supposed to be on motorbike pa-
trol, and they might actually do
that sometimes, but mostly they
just hang out.
I do a radio show on kampotra-
dio.com Monday to Wednesday
from seven to eight: the station is
close to their favorite bench. I had
been doing the show for quite a
long time, so I was quite surprised
one night to see the front gate
locked, it had never been before
and I had no key. Seems like
someone new to the little complex, an office and three apart-
ments, read the little sign that says lock it up and did so when
normally it isn’t locked till much later.
First thing is to call the station boss who also lives there and ask
for a rescue. For some reason his phone wasn’t working for a
short time just around the time when I called him. There was no
one else in the complex, so it seemed like my only option,
unless I wanted to wait, possibly for hours, was to climb the
gate, which isn’t that tall, only about 6 feet. I’d had the experi-
ence of climbing over my own gate a couple times having for-
gotten my key, but it’s quite a bit shorter and easier to get over.
Now I keep that key with the car and house keys so it’ll always
be there. I don’t like big lunky things in my pockets so I tried to
minimize the keys I carry around, but to go through all that crap
over the bulk of a single key, not too clever.
I tried going directly over the top of the station gate but it was
too difficult, it’s got these spikes on top, so you need to be quite
nimble, at least beyond my capacity.
Instead I found a way over on the side of the gate where a wide
post sits that was much easier to get over. It was still a bit of a
chore for an old codger and I was breathing hard by the time I
got down to the other side where I was greeted by the 4 or 5
cops who had been hanging out on the bench nearby.
Cops here are pretty easy going, but they weren’t too happy
about seeing me doing my climbing stunt. I tried to explain in
my very broken Khmer what was happening since none spoke
English, but didn’t get very far. They didn’t ask to see ID or a
driver’s license although my car was right there. The authorities
are making it a bit more difficult for us to get licenses, but it’s
still not that bad and here in Kampot, unless you get into an
accident, you’ll never be asked for it. Besides, I never carry my
wallet at night, only just enough money for the evening and a bit
more: driving a car you have to keep a spare $20 or $30 bucks.
What if I forget to turn my lights off, the battery’s dead and I
twice if my destination is only 30 meters on the left.
They also do some amazing corner cutting, so you basically
never know where they’re coming from. They, speaking mostly
of motorbikes or bicycles, will also cut right in front of you, not
so close that you have to slam on your brakes, but still definitely
forcing you to slow down. The beauty of Cambodia is that people
almost never get bent out of shape over the kinds of discourtesies
which in the states would amount to asking for road rage murder.
You also have to deal with pedestrians, since almost all sidewalks
are blocked by property owners or so uncomfortable to walk on
people stay on the street. Each owner builds a sidewalk to their
own specs so sometimes one will be high above the next or have
a steep slant. This is dangerous and uncomfortable for both walk-
ers and drivers. Car drivers will also sometimes stop in the mid-
dle of the street or park willy-nilly far from the curb and angled
into the street. One good change is that the city has finally put No
Parking signs on the riverside promenade and all but a few scoff-
laws obey the signs. It was getting you could barely get through
the parked cars.
In the states you can drive like an automaton: Stay in your lane,
keep up with traffic, keep a safe distance, watch for brake lights.
You can be half asleep and still manage… but not here.
Most restaurants and bars here in Kampot aren’t air conditioned,
so there’s no real door, it’s all open. In a place where it’s never
cold enough to need actual shoes for instance there’s never a rea-
son to close it up tight. To close up shop they’ll have some type
of sliding metal door. There are no restrictions on animals in bars
or eateries and no restrictions on children. It does look a bit odd
to see a 3-year-old out with parents at midnight and it rarely hap-
pens, but what’s the difference? It’s just people out having fun. In
the afternoon around sunset with outdoor seating there’s nothing
odd about it at all. Parents aren’t stuck at home, like in the US
where it could cost $50 or $100 for a babysitter for a few hours,
or restricted to where they can go.
Much of life in Cambodia is informal, leisurely, laid back, easy-
going especially for a retiree of course. There’s not a tenth of
the things here that you need to stress about back in the devel-
oped world. Eventually it’ll come to here as well, a rich society
has to be well ordered and regulated and Cambodia is growing
very fast, but it sure is nice now not to have to deal with all that
paperwork, surveillance and crap.
Rough Guides Travel books does a survey of the world’s friendli-
est countries to travel. Cambodia consistently comes out on top
and by a wide margin.
Met a guy in my favorite watering hole a while back. He said
he’d spent five years in twenty countries since he’d left his old
workaday life. Not long after crossing the border into Cambodia,
he felt a sigh of relief, of comfort. He said since he’d arrived in
Kampot two days earlier he hadn’t stopped smiling.
With all the development plans afoot, I don’t know if he’d still
feel the same, or I for that matter, after they complete their ne-
farious or at least game changing projects.
you cause no accident or harm, you’ll not be hassled.
I don’t have insurance and it does bother me sometimes, if
something serious happens I’ll be up the proverbial excrement
creek. It doesn’t cost all that much, but a lot of months I’m
down to my last couple dollars just before payday, so it would
bite. And I have no stash to draw from in emergencies costing
more than a few hundred dollars, and then only by maxing out
my credit line. I’d guess most people don’t have insurance.
Oddly enough when you are involved in an accident here which
results in injury it doesn’t matter who’s at fault, the one who has
the money pays. Most expats assume that they’ll always be the
ones to pay, but that’s because they usually have the money and
are easy prey. Without a foreigner involved, it’s the guy with
the dough that covers it. In fact, the one big advantage of having
insurance is you have someone to negotiate for you, which is
especially good when rules are sometimes fluid and there’s a
communication disconnect.
I’m told minimum driving age is 15, but here in Kampot you’ll
see kids as young as 6 or 7 bopping around on their little
50CCs. Every time I see it, and it happens lots every time I’m
out and about, I can’t really believe it. Most aren’t wearing hel-
mets. Most are reasonably cautious, some have a couple friends
on back and will be winding their bikes up and darting around
the streets. I’d be deathly afraid to have my little kid out
on these manic streets. Not that they can’t learn to handle
a moto properly, but they sure wouldn’t have the maturity
and experience to know the ways of the road, be able to
respond to difficult situations and stay safe. I haven’t
heard of any smashed up little kids lately, but it has to
happen. Bicycles are certainly not harm free, but still they
seem far more appropriate for little kids, besides insuring
a little exercise.
Almost everyone in Phnom Penh wears a helmet, but
only a small percentage wear them here and I don’t re-
member first and second graders driving around the big
city, but here in small town Cambodia, par for the course.
Back to driving at night. The car did have a working yel-
low secondary light on the left as a marker and I never go
very far, a couple kilometers at most and almost all
within the city. I would never drive on the highways here at
night without proper lights; actually, I’d never drive at night
under any conditions except in the most dire emergencies. It’s
insane out on the tarmac, especially just after dark. On the side
of the road you have pedestrians, bicycles, motorbikes - some
without lights - and three-wheelers and some are coming at you
on your side of the road. Coming towards you on the proper side
of the road, you have giant trucks with their giant headlights
glaring at you and the same array of other vehicles.
I drove quite a bit when I first got a car, but now I get spaced
out and just don’t feel very confident so in town I go very
slowly, rarely breaking 30kph 18mph. With how cockamamie
the whole driving experience is here, I don’t stick out at all driv-
ing so slowly. Getting behind the wheel here requires full atten-
tion and concentration. Vehicles meander all over the road and
you’ll find cars and sometimes bikes coming right at you.
You’re expected to get out of their way, but of course they don’t
come right at you unless they know you have the space to move
over. On the highway that sometimes means moving off on the
shoulder, I mean, you’ve got a big truck or bus coming at you,
what’re you going to do, argue? Stand your ground?
It’s all very fluid, like bob and weave, feint and charge.
They often make right turns without a glace at oncoming traffic.
Mostly you have to always be aware that motorbikes and such
often drive near the curb in the wrong direction. You know, you
come to an intersection wanting to turn left, the traffic’s too
dense to cross so you drive the wrong way until you can get
through to the other side. I do something similar on my bicycle
in some circumstances there’s no sense in crossing traffic
You can’t seriously think he would take people to 20,000 feet in
one of those, do you? They would freeze!”
In the word’s of a smirking Michael O’Leary, “Oh yes. Fur coat
rentals are an extra 50 Euro’s. We’re not a bloody charity.”
Tourist from Iowa becomes Donald Trump’s new
Chief of Staff
The Trump administration has once again stunned the Washing-
ton establishment with the unusual move of making Mick Mul-
vaney, a car tools salesman from Dubuque, the second most pow-
erful man in the US after the tourist lingered too long in the West
Wing during a guided visit.
Upon meeting Mr Mulvaney, the President is said to have asked
him if he was ‘busy at the moment’. Mr Mulvaney explained that
he was going through a slow period as most people like to tinker
with their cars in the summer. The nomination was announced
soon after.
Mr Mulvaney is a long-time registered Republican, but his practi-
cal political experience has been limited to attending one Primary
in 2004 and one rather heated argument with his neighbour over a
lawn mower that somehow ended up being about Obama. This,
of course, makes him more qualified than most of the Trump
family.
The nomination has already created controversies as a series of
embarrassing videos surfaced of Mr Mulvaney critiquing Donald
Trump and also making a Denzel Washington impression on his
brother’s stag-night that some people might consider racist.
There were some fears that Mick Mulvaney would walk away
from the post. Insider sources reveal that he only accepted the job
after a personal intervention from Ivanka Trump who explained
that the new role came with a suit allowance and a heavily dis-
counted membership to Fitness Planet.
Mr Mulvaney made his first public appearance on Saturday eve-
ning when he walked into the press room and confidently asked
journalists who he had to talk to about getting toner cartridges.
Government assures nation that placating bigoted
cretins is still the key driver of UK immigration
policy
Amid reports of bitter disagreements between Sajid Javid and
Theresa May, the Home Office has tried to reassure the public
that, whatever the final numbers, the nation’s immigration policy
will still be run with the sole aim of soothing the ridiculous fears
of pig-ignorant angry tabloid readers.
Simon Williams, the spokesperson for UK Immigration, ex-
plained that new post-Brexit policies will still be completely de-
void of any consideration for businesses, universities, the social
care sector or basic human decency.
He said, “This is just Fleet Street making a mountain out of small
disagreements over precise targets.
“Although Brexit brings new opportunities, we will still follow
the same policy that we have over the past decade of creating
completely meaningless numbers so red-faced idiots think we are
finding solutions to non-existent problems.
“Rest assured that thousands if not millions of people will see
their lives thrown into Kafkaesque turmoil because a retired su-
permarket manager in the Home Counties thinks there are too
many Poles in Sheffield and somehow that’s why terrorism ex-
ists.”
In Crawley, an elderly simpleton with frighteningly high blood
pressure, Harold Williams, explained that he welcomed the gov-
ernment’s reassurances.
“For a moment there, I was worried that we would adopt an im-
migration policy based on a mix of CBI demands, NHS staffing
needs, demographic trends and Treasury forecasts combined with
Nobody actually wants Santa to be a woman or
gender-fluid person, you gullible dickhead
The rage you’re currently feeling about Santa’s gender being
changed is entirely without merit, you daft bastard, according
to reports this morning.
After several media outlets reported on “calls for Santa to be a
woman” or “survey suggests that a third of people think Santa
should be gender-fluid”, it emerged that said “calls” came from
roughly nine Twitter accounts, and said “survey” was con-
ducted among 15 philosophy students from the University of
Lincoln.
“We do this a couple of times a month,” chuckled Simon Wil-
liams, head of rage-porn at the Daily Mail.
“People really value their traditions an awful lot, so we tend to
have a dig around for anything that could be spun into a per-
ceived threat of that tradition.”
“It’s nearly Christmas, so this time of year is an absolute gold-
mine for this kind of nonsense.
“We found a tweet that suggested Santa could be gender-fluid
as he’s fictional. Technically that’s correct, as fiction has no
rules, but Johnny Ragebot rarely cares for such subtleties.
“That one Tweet got our article 31 million shares on Facebook,
and close to half a million pounds in advertising revenue.
“Thank God for gullible fuckwits who can easily imagine one
man delivering presents to every boy and girl on earth in one
night, but struggle with the idea of him transitioning into a
woman.
“In a couple of months, we’ll suggest that St. Valentine identi-
fied as being asexual. I’m really looking forward to that one as
most of our readers don’t actually know what an asexual is.”
Gullible fuckwit, Johnny Ragebot, said, “Bloody well leave
Santa alone, you liberal pricks!
“It’s bad enough there are women Doctor Whos, Ghostbusters
and voters now, so you can keep your grubby mitts off my FA-
THER Christmas! Not Mother Christmas or Person Christmas,
FATHER Christmas! You hear me?!”
Liberal prick, Hayley Rice, said, “Yeah, that’s fine. Merry
Christmas.”
Drones over Gatwick found to be new Ryanair
‘Super Economy’ flights
Following hours of cancellations and delays, a sheepish Gat-
wick airport has issued a statement confirming that what they
initially thought were drones are in fact the maiden flights of
the new Ryanair ‘super economy’ series.
In the release, Airport boss Simon Williams states “Yes we
were told to expect some extra Ryanair flights at those times
today but we didn’t take it seriously. I mean come on. Ryanair.
Running to time? At Christmas?! That’s less likely than Santa.”
When asked whether the size should have been some kind of
giveaway he responded “Probably yes. They aren’t a lot
smaller than the existing ones but I imagine they’ve found a
way to cram a few hundred more people into one though.”
The planes are currently being ‘piloted’ by Ryanair Chief Ex-
ecutive Michael O’Leary from the roof of his offices using a
remote control.
He confirmed “No pilots means more money saved. And fewer
of the b*stsrds able to strike over our working conditions.
“People know what they are paying for and these ‘planes’ will
get them to where they’re going up to two Euro’s cheaper.”
The new ‘Boeing 24-7’ range appears to be a sequence of
handrails attached to a particularly sturdy drone.
Boeing confirmed “We only made it for a laugh to make Mi-
chael go away. We thought it was a silly present for his family.
Beatles, but even he had the talent not to record this twinkling
dog-turd. From the Commodore 64 game synth stabs to the half-
arsed lyrics, this would be a career low if not for the frog busi-
ness.
S t o p t h e C a v a l r y b y J o n a L e w i e
You can have a perky parpy upbeat Christmas song, or you can
have a song mourning the senseless deaths of soldiers in war. To
try and do both in the same three-minute song is a catastrophic
error and it’s we who suffer.
C h r i s t ma s W r a p p i n g b y t h e W a i t r e s s e s
There was a time in the early 80s when rap was a joke genre only
suitable for shitty novelty records produced as desperate cash-ins,
like indie is today. A time forgotten until this comes on.
Little Drummer Boy by Bing Crosby and David Bowie
Yes it’s got David Bowie on it. Yes his bit is decent, but only as
blessed relief from the endless pa-rumpa-pum-fucking-pums.
Happy Xmas (War is Over) by John & Yoko
The second Beatle in the list, proving once and for all that they
were crap. And in ending war, it is crucial that your opponents
also want the war to be over or war will continue on a harrow-
ingly one-sided basis.
Do They Know its Christmas by Band Aid
In 1984 it was a marvellous charity event that brought the nation
together, but the written-in-five-minutes quality shows. Plus
surely it’s seditious nonsense to suggest Britain once spontane-
ously came together to help foreigners.
Jamie Oliver’s guide to the perfect sanctimonious Christmas
Christmas is a time of year for maximum smugness. It’s all about
being with the family and making them feel like shit about their
choices. Here’s how to get the most amount of judgement into
the shortest amount of time. Cushty.
Get vocal with vino
If someone brought wine, make sure you squint at the label like a
geriatric at a smartphone before reading out the details in a pa-
tronising tone. If the vino’s your own, read the bastard out loud
in your smuggest Cutter’s Choice (voice). Double whammy.
Bosh.
Bring an exotic bird in
Nothing says ‘I’m better than you’ than presenting your guests
with some fucked-up bird like a grouse. If they ask for turkey,
tell ‘em to take a walk.They’ll absolutely bloody love it.
Swap cracker toys for some crackin tips
Toys and Christmas go together like sprouts and salami. What
your guests need is some proper advice about nutrition, so stick it
up their crackers with a tip in each. For extra points, personalise
them.
the flexible allocation of resources to allow communities to
adapt to any sudden influx.
“But what I really want is a random number that will allow me
to mumble about foreigners learning what’s what. And I’ll vote
for whoever gives me that.
“Because Sharia.”
Bloody swans demanding gluten-free bread now
The pushy middle-class parents of the waterfowl world have
announced that they’re gluten intolerant and you need to respect
that.
Swans, who are right up themselves compared to the other birds
that live in the park, confirmed that it’s a proper condition and
everything and that from now on you’re going to have to go the
special aisle in the supermarket just for them before taking your
kids to the local pond.
“This is just bloody typical, isn’t it?” said park-visitor and bird
feeding enthusiast Simon Williams.
“Had to be the swans, didn’t it?
“With their pristine white feathers and all that grace and nigh-
magical dignity, you’d know it’d be them who had a special
dietary condition that you have to jump through hoops for and
treat them like they’re special.
“It wouldn’t be the Mallards, would it? No, they’re too busy
shagging each other and eating dog poo.”
When asked, swans confirmed that they’re thinking of getting
into crystals and auras next week because that will really help
with the stress of raising their darling children, Oliver and Jo-
casta.
Santa Will Leave Lump Of Fair Dinkum Energy In Christ-
mas Stocking If They Don’t Behave, Scott Morrison Warns
Kids
Recalling the well-known Christmas story, Prime Minister Scott
Morrison has told the nation’s children to be good in the lead up
to Christmas, or risk getting a lump of fair dinkum energy in
their stockings.
Asked if he meant ‘coal’, the Prime Minister said, “Yep, fair
dinkum energy, that’s right”.
Since becoming Prime Minister Scott Morrison has been unable
to use the word ‘coal’ even though he once held an actual lump
of it in the nation’s parliament. ‘Fair dinkum energy’ is the term
he uses instead because he thinks we’re all dickheads.
Mr Morrison said he was looking forward to relaxing with fam-
ily this Christmas and listening to the Christmas album from
Nat King Fair Dinkum Energy.
Search Continues For Liberal Party Base
Prime Minister Scott Morrison says he is 100% committed to
the Liberal Party’s base and has allocated extra resources to
help find it.
In a speech to media this morning, Mr Morrison said the party’s
base was not an imaginary concept invented by Sky News pre-
senters who didn’t understand the difference between the US
and Australian electoral systems, and was in fact a real and
identifiable group of people. “It’s real, it’s there, and we’re go-
ing to find it,” he said.
Previous attempts to find the base including on a bus trip
through rural Queensland, and more recently during an election
campaign in Victoria have failed.
Morrison is hopeful that the trip to Mars will be more success-
ful.
Christmas songs ranked from the worst to f**king
unbearable
EVERYONE has a least favourite Christmas song, from the
creepiness of Roy Wood to Cliff Richard talking shit about God.
But which are just the worst and which are absolutely unbear-
able?
Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney
Ringo is often remembered as the least talented member of the
Happy New Year from the Pub Page. I trust all those who are
reading this have made it through the festivities are ready to start
another year of reading the meanderings of this indentured rac-
onteur. Hopefully a number of you came down to the annual
AOGAAH Christmas dinner at the Pub/Skirts which raised
money for a worthy cause free school for underprivileged kids
for those who did make it, a heart felt thank you from the Pub
Page for those who did not, please
consider dropping checking AOGAAH
out online as there often a few different
fundraisers throughout the year or drop
by The Pub/Skirts for next year’s din-
ner (note to the Evil Publisher got my
first two Skirts references in and the
year is just starting).
Thought we would start the year with
some class and review Sora, on the
37th floor of the Canadia building and
part of the Rosewood hotel. First is-
sue, you don’t enter through the hotel
lobby, you go through the main en-
trance of the tower where there is a
dedicated elevator I probably should
not have taken the hint when I got very
clear and explicit directions to the ser-
vice elevator instead, but I persisted
and made it upstairs with some assis-
tance from security who asked why I
was hanging out at the service elevator.
Second issue, there is a dress code and
I watched some guys got turned away
because one of them was wearing san-
dals the prohibitions are on a big sign
in the building lobby with pictures of
what is not allowed: no flip flops, no
singlets, no beach wear. Oddly they
have also banned professional cameras
and tripods; I wonder if they enforce that during events. The
inside part of the bar is really nice and feels quite classy; a lot of
space, good views, dark and lots of wood; however, the highlight
is the patio with pretty amazing views of a good chunk of
Phnom Penh. Probably the best look of the disaster that used to
be our lake that I have seen. I was told it is the highest sky bar
in Phnom Penh; at least until some more of our new and likely
soon to be derelict Chinese skyscrapers get built. To get a large
table requires a minimum spend of USD 200; unfortunately, my
investigative expense account (I probably should ask for one of
those) did not cover it so I “settled” for a two person table right
at the glass with an amazing south view of the city while the sun
was setting. Really got an appreciation for traffic from up here.
Prices: cocktails range from USD 8-11, amazing selection of
spirits (which are available by the bottle) there is a page of
gins for USD 8-25 a glass, 12 vodkas from USD 8-20 (next time
I may have to try the death’s door even at 10 bucks), a page of
rums from USD 8-38 and then you get to the good stuff: whis-
keys from Japan, Taiwan, Scotland, etc. Many are only avail-
able by the bottle and a number go into the thousands per bottle
taking the prize is a Macallan M Decanter for what is clearly a
very reasonable USD 19,000. Draft beer is USD 8 a pint, craft
beers range from $8-10 for 330 ml with a slightly different set
available for $16-38 for 750 ml (yes that is USD 38 for a glass
of beer). Bottles seem like an absolute steal at USD 6-8. By the
way, I asked and was told that there is no happy hour and if there
was, it would not include the good stuff.
From there we go down a few levels to our GSM update sale got
even better with rents down to USD 350 and still almost empty. I
wish they had started with the cheaper rents and filled the place up;
now it just feels like a ghost mall in the north end. Someone did
find a good use for a bunch of the old game areas, but that is for a
different reviewer maybe Gordon
Ramsay will eventually get there in a
Hotel Hell episode (actually, I did
look, and the rooms are quite reason-
able and clean).
Perhaps a step up, at least from a
vertical orientation, is Sharky’s. First
congratulations on their 23rd birth-
day which they celebrated on 22 De-
cember pretty amazing to be run-
ning this long given all the changes
that have taken place in the bar and
in the city. The Pub Page was not
able to attend but appreciated the
invite. Things have changed again,
they are no longer open in the after-
noons on the weekend and are focus-
ing on evening merriments. The
Joker has changed a bit with mini
draws starting at 9:30 and the main
draw still going at 10:30 each Friday.
Otherwise it is still a good and, these
days, reasonably quiet place for a
drink and some pool.
Another old fav, Shanghai, has resur-
rected the BBQ night it is Friday
night and costs USD 12.5, but does
not include beers. Live music starts
at 9. I will be trying it soon, but it
has had good reviews from the peo-
ple I know who have checked it out. For those who miss the old
BBQ nights, I suggest you give a try and, if you like, try to support
a fading PP tradition.
Jet’s Container a very popular spot among the local crowd and
some of the younger expats has been shipped off. I was going to
get some food there the other night and discovered the whole place
is missing guess one of those new buildings I alluded to early will
be there soon.
Finally, some hostess stuff I have been walking around a bunch of
bars most have been pretty dead. Have not been to many new
ones lately Shrek was not interested and I have been having trou-
ble finding a bodyguard to escort me around. But I did try to one of
the many new ones a place called Drink Bar on 136 St. It is
owned by the people from Alaska bar across the street and the staff
seems to go back and forth as needed or when they are bored. A
large, very open and nice place and the music was not as crazy loud
as it often is across at Alaska. Mix of bar seats, small tables and
couch tables. Unfortunately, all the staff seemed pretty occupied
when I was there, so I had a quick drink and vacated but I will be
back.
That is about it if you are opening a bar or having a party and you
want a mentioned, send a note to the Evil Publisher the month be-
fore and he will likely instruct me to be there.
The lady claims she
was sexually har-
assed at 4:05 am on
December 10, 2018 in
the Heart of Dark-
ness Club”, 51 Street.
The white foreigner,
aged around 30, al-
legedly made unwel-
come advances and
got a slap for his trou-
bles.
However, security
were unwilling to help
out in the matter, and
allowed the man to
slip away, leaving the
woman upset and an-
gry.
After the man disap-
peared, the lady was
found by a Passap
driver, who comforted
her before she com-
plained to reporters
and went to the po-
lice.
The CAMBODIADREARY
Volume 05 Issue 10 Thursday January 1 2019 0000 Riel
Cambo-
dian Space
Project
BY SAL UT
THE CAMBODIA DREARY
NOT THE BAND.
Satellite Plans Agreed
In December. Cambodia’s
first satellite project is a
joint venture between Cam-
bodian companies and Chi-
nese companies with an
investment of $150 million.
The new agreement was
inked between Kith Meng,
President of Royal Group,
and Mr. Yim Li Meng, In-
dustrial Corporation of
China.
Satellites as an alternative to
a fibre-optic cable to in-
crease broadband penetra-
tion in urban and rural areas
of the Kingdom.
Other purposes, are for the
Ministry of Agriculture,
Ministry of Land Manage-
ment, Ministry of Interior,
and for security and de-
fence.
“Backup is automatic as
Huawei and ZTE will pro-
vide hardware so the Chi-
nese will know everything,
and we don’t need a huge
ball of string.” quipped one
industry insider!C page 17
BY CHOY MAI
THE CAMBODIA DREARY
Under Section 246 of
the Penal Code, any
act of sexual harass-
ment or sexual assault
is punishable by one
year to three years
imprisonment and a
fine between two mil-
lion to six million
Riels.
Tent
madness
BY RAY BIDLOONY
DISASSOCIATED PRESS
According to Preah
Sihanouk Provincial
Administration, the
Department of Tour-
ism, together with the
provincial administra-
tion, will lease 300
tents along Ochheuteal
Beach to give you a
taste of relaxation.
About Cambodia
Report: Best response
to “What are you
getting me for
Xmas.” “Same as
you got me for
Khmer New Year
Page 17
When reading this
Khmers will be
dressed for deep
winter Page 17
Chinese kidnapper-
groups battle each
other for a particu-
larly wealthy target.
Page 17
This is a work of fiction and satire any semblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental
Just popping out for noodles at 4am!
Another muppet who cant drive! A Range Rover crashed and two Chinese men and a women
escaped at 5:30 am on December 22, on Sothearos Boulevard.
The car reportedly didn’t stop for a red light, and crashed into a pole to avoid an oncoming
vehicle.
However, when fleeing the scene Mr. Peng Qiang forgot to take his drivers licence with him.
The 34 year old Chinese was soon tracked down and will go to court to answer the legal
charges
In addition, the provin-
cial administration has
set up night lighting,
bathrooms, toilets, and
changing rooms for lo-
cal and international
visitors in the camp
area.
Its nice to see them ad-
dressing the lack of
rooms in Snooky as the
Chinese will only allow
Chinese to stay in their
hotels.
Along with making it
easy for anyone with a
A woman claims
Sexual Harassment in
the Heart of Darkness
nightclub.
A Khmer woman filed
a complaint against an
unknown foreign man
at Phsar Thmey Police
Station 3.
We at the Dreary reckon
she was lucky to find a
heterosexual male in the
Heart at that hour!
Or maybe she wasn’t
looking for a man, just a
carpet cleaning service!
The “comforting” Pas-
sap driver said he paid
for Cont page 17
knife to nick your shit au-
thorities plan more attrac-
tions. They will add to the
23 sewage outlets along the
beach to claim the title of
“Worlds most fetid beach.”
And whilst swimming you
can catch strange and exotic
skin diseases never seen
before!
Future attractions just back
from the beach will be: The
worlds smelliest rotting gar-
bage pile. Along with beach
garbage dumped at sea from
local islands Cont page 17
daze from all the evil and nastiness around him.
He picked up his bone saw and sent a team of 15 men to Tur-
key without realizing what he was doing.
This vicious world is the same one Mr. Trump is consistently
improving, according to his honored self-appraisal.
A secretary at Mar-a-Lago indicated no sooner had the Prince
heard Mr. Trump’s reasoning on this matter he sent an instant
reply:
“Thank you for understanding what is really responsible
when I gave the order to eliminate Khashoggi."
"I was so hurt and saddened by doing this—believe me.”
“You are the only one who understands.”
Brexit: Second Referendum Scheduled For Janu-
ary
In another complete turnaround in stated aims, Prime Minister,
Theresa May, announced that she was now 'in favour' of a second
Brexit referendum, and that it will be in January.
May, who doesn't seem to know which way to turn, what day of
the week it is, or her arse from her elbow, made the announce-
ment in the House of Commons this morning, to a mixture of
groans and euphoric roars.
Only two days ago, she said that another vote on the issue would
divide, rather than unite, the country, but she now seems to have
had second thoughts.
The results of the second referendum will be interesting. If the
country votes to leave the European Union again, there may be an
uprising; if it votes to remain, there could be a revolution. There
might even be a Civil War.
Isn't it exciting?
US Warships On Way To Sentinel Island To Re-
trieve The Body Of John Allen Chau
US President, Donald Trump, has told a press conference at the
White House that the murder of the American citizen, John Allen
Chau, by North Sentinel islanders was "unacceptable", and that
his body should be handed over immediately if the savages do
not want a "big problem".
At the same time, he gave orders for the American fleet to sail for
the North Sentinel island in the Andaman Sea, with orders to:
"Get our man back, then blow the place to shit!"
Mr Chau, 27, decided to visit the Sentinelese at their island home,
in an attempt to introduce them to Christianity, but the Sentine-
lese were busy, and introduced him to bows and arrows.
Chau's youthful exuberance, and passion for religion went against
the grain for the Sentinelese, who care nothing for such trivia,
and concern themselves solely with staying alive. The tribe shun
contact with the outside world, and people like Chau, and who
can blame them?
The island, which falls under the 'jurisdiction' of India, is pro-
tected, so that the people's way of life can be preserved free from
interference by others who would destroy it, with stuff like Chris-
tianity.
President Trump, however, was adamant, and has despatched
three warships and a large flotilla of support vessels to the area,
with orders to retrieve Mr Chau's corpse. Said Trump:
"We can't afford to let these people go bullying us like this. The
next thing you know, they'll be turning up in a caravan on our
shores. Time to ruh-mble!"
Boris Johnson Undergoes Secret Diversity Training
Before Tory Leadership Challenge
Failed "Foreign Secretary" Boris "Bozo" Johnson is undergoing
secret diversity training in preparation for a leadership challenge
to hapless "Prime Minister" Theresa "Maybot" May.
Under the expert tutelage of "comedian" Jim Davidson OBE, Mr
Johnson is learning fast that there will be no more watermelon
smiles, no more piccaninnies, no more letterboxes and no more
No man is an island - or is he?
The saying "no man is an island" is meant as a literal comparison
to say that no human being is a piece of land surrounded by wa-
ter. It was always true, until now.
Geoff Kamehameha is a Samoan who used to live on an island in
the south Pacific which has now disappeared underneath the
waves. Yet Geoff, who possesses an impressive girth of 3 metres
(that is belly girth, not penis girth) still lives on the sunken atoll
and is now technically himself an island.
The fat Polynesian has been picked up on Google Earth at the
coordinates -13.646243, -172.687400 alongside many of his
drowning friends, not far from the main island of Samoa itself.
Mr Kamehameha says that he is happy with the new arrange-
ments, as he no longer needs to worry about going to the toilet or
having a shower, and can lie in the watery ocean all day long
while his skin wrinkles. He lives off plankton, like the lardarsed
whale that he is, and occasionally bottom feeds.
He has applied for nation status and plans to become an inde-
pendent country.
Trump gives thanks to himself plus explains MBS
as victim of vicious world
As the race to the 2020 election begins, Mr. Trump finds himself
high in the saddle of world politics, and his own opinion of him-
self.
Yesterday at Thanksgiving in America, Mr. Trump indicated his
gratitude to himself for his personal glory.
“Let’s face it, folks, finally you have a magnificent leaderthat
is myself. Absolutely the best, the number one, I’m sure you
agree, as we consider the roll call of past presidents.”
A testimony to Mr. Trump’s assessment here is the magnificent
concertina wire now being strung at the Mexican border to keep
out the struggling masses from Central America.
Another is aiding the Saudis in bombing and starving Yemen
who have made the mistake of being allied with Iran.
Yet another, is ripping up a perfectly good agreement with Iran
from the previous administration that was efficient, honored, and
workable economically.
Mr. Trump:
“This country is so much stronger now than when I took office,
and you wouldn’t believe it . . .
A guest at Mar-a-Lago where Mr. Trump was celebrating him-
self, mentioned Mr. Trump moved on from here to discuss other
matters.
In the 2016 campaign he bragged he could shoot somebody and
get away with it, because he is so popular and renowned.
Also his ability to grab the female parts and get away with it due
to his fame, has females in a swoon of gratefulness.
Mar-a-Lago perpetually sees a long queue of women lined up at
the front gate--pelvis thrust forward hoping Mr. Trump will
emerge and do a grab.
Also, Mr. Trump has clarified what happened in the Khashoggi
matter involving the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia.
The essential root and bone matter explaining this unfortunate
man’s case is “because the world is a vicious place.”
The vicious world entirely influenced the Prince as he fell into a
alike with his appointment of Darth Vader as his new Secretary
of Defence.
Despite having a long history of appointing unexpected candi-
dates to important roles within his administration, the Dark Lord
of the Sith was not on anyone’s radar in Washington.
Speaking to reporters, President Trump explained, “Lord Vader
has an excellent track record of leading strong military organisa-
tion in their ongoing war against underground rebel factions, and
I’m confident he will continue the excellent work we’ve done in
defeating ISIS.
“He leads from the front and has done many great things, and
will do many more for the United States.
“I only employ the best people, everyone is saying it, and I think
we can all agree that Lord Vader is uniquely qualified to lead our
armed forces into the next phase of their evolution, even if he
was really only interested in my new space force.”
When questioned by reporters about his qualifications for the
role, Vader told them, “I find your lack of faith disturbing.”
When reminded by the press pool that sending American soldiers
across the galaxy on a personal vendetta was not part of his remit
as Defence Secretary, he told them, “I am altering the deal, pray I
do not alter it any further.”
Washington insider Chuck Williams told us, “I give him a week.
“Sure, he’s had some recent experience with bosses who like to
blow their own trumpet the Emporer was certainly a vainglori-
ous twat, but this guy? Jesus christ. He doesn’t have any idea
who he’s working for.
“He’ll have force choked him before New Years.”
“Stupid Woman” the nicest thing anyone has said to Theresa
May in months
Whitehall insiders have secretly revealed that Downing Street is
actually quite touched by the kind words directed at Theresa May
by Jeremy Corbyn during parliamentary questions today.
During a fractious round of question, the opposition leader took
time out to mouth the words “stupid woman” at the prime minis-
ter, in a show of solidarity to illustrate that some people think
she’s merely incompetent and out of her depth, rather than the
Machiavellian villain of the piece secretly intent of ruining life as
we know it.
As one party official told us, “Theresa has been called everything
under the sun in the last 18 months, but I think it’s fair to say that
in context ‘stupid woman’ is about as harsh as a back rub and a
cup of tea and she recognises that show of support from the
Labour front benches.
“People in her own party have called her far worse, and many of
them have spent months trying to ruin her career, so question-
ing her intellect while recognising her gender would certainly
count as Jeremy Corbyn’s good deed for the day.
“For example, Jacob Rees-Mogg has burned several effigies of
her, and Boris has taken to wearing a “Theresa is a C*nt” t-shirt
to party meetings.
“So implying she’s a bit dim is, in reality, quite a touching show
of solidarity by someone who is also often thought of as a bit
dim.”
Labour officials have defended Jeremy Corbyn’s kind words,
insisting we call it an ‘outburst’, and have asked that we recog-
nise that this incident is as close to swearing that Jeremy has
come since Margaret Thatcher won the 1987 general election.
attempts at reciting colonial poetry while making overseas tours
of developing countries.
When confronted on the doorstep of his new home, a bedsit in
Tower Hamlets where he has resided since being kicked out of
the family home after admitting to shagging a close female asso-
ciate, Mr Johnson was effusive about Mr Davidson's influence on
his behaviour.
"Jim is a wonderful human being and his knowledge and involve-
ment in our multicultural society is proving very helpful to me.
Alright, so he is infamous for his jokes about women, ethnic mi-
norities, gay and disabled people but it's all good clean fun. I
know he isn't prejudiced against these groups and I am finding it
particularly useful when he introduces his Jamaican alter ego
Chalky White. His accent and mannerisms are truly authentic."
Diversity training is a new venture for Mr Davidson who has
recently been developing adult pantomime shows such as Boobs
in the Wood and Sinderella, both of which have played to sell-out
audiences in Essex.
Mate Tea Bag Thrown At President Trump At G20 Summit
There was controversy in Buenos Aires this evening, when dele-
gates leaving the G20 Summit were surprised by a protestor who
threw a mate tea bag at US President, Donald Trump, hitting him
on the forehead.
Police moved in, and a woman was led away for questioning.
Mate is a traditional South American caffeine-rich drink made
with the dried leaves of the yerba mate. It is infused in hot water,
and sipped like tea.
The drink originated with the Guarani, and was also popular with
the Tupi people before it spread to other South American coun-
tries - Argentina, Uruguay, Paraguay, and parts of Bolivia, Chile
and Brazil - as well as Syria and Lebanon, which are not in South
America.
No stain from the teabag was visible on Trumps weird orange
skin tone.
Police later charged the woman with 'wasting a tea bag'.
Michael Cohen Lying About Not Telling The Truth?
There have been some sensational scenes in US politics this
week, with Michael Cohen, the one-time attorney of US presi-
dent, Donald Trump, freely admitting under questioning that he
had previously lied to Congress when he said that Trump had
ceased negotiations to build a 'Trump tower' in Moscow during
the US Presidential Elections of 2016, when he had not.
Cohen says he lied out of loyalty to 'individual 1', another term
for President Trump.
The importance of 'who-did-what-and-when', however, pales into
insignificance when Cohen's turnaround is considered.
Several political analysts have already pointed out that, if Cohen
is now saying he previously lied to Congress, no less, how naïve
would we be to believe him?
Or rather, if he is saying:
"As God is my witness, I swear to you upon all the is Holy, I was
lying,"
should we believe this? A man who can, seemingly swear on
something one minute, then admit that he was lying about it in
the next, is a difficult customer to handle.
"That statement to Congress, when I swore to tell the truth, that
wasn't true, but what I'm saying now, is."
And, if he can lie as easily as he seems to be able to, isn't it possi-
ble he's also lying now, and actually didn't lie to Congress, that
he told the truth, and that his recent admission that he lied to
Congress was the real lie?
It's all very confusing, isn't it?
Only in America!
Donald Trump announces Darth Vader as new Secretary of
Defence
Donald Trump has stunned Republican and Democrat officials
Most people should stick to PC Decrapifier, but there’s an even more
thorough cleansing available only for people who feel comfortable
reinstalling their entire operating system.
If you’d rather nuke everything from above Microsoft also offers a
downloadable tool that installs a clean copy of the most recent version
of Windows 10 Home or Windows 10 Pro but without any apps that
aren’t part of Microsoft’s default Windows 10 setup. It seriously does-
n’t mess around, as Microsoft drives home in the tool’s description:
“Using this tool will remove all apps that don’t come standard with
Windows, including other Microsoft apps such as Office. It will also
remove most pre-installed apps, including manufacturer apps, support
apps, and drivers.”
This tool will wipe out any product keys or digital licenses associated
with that software too, so if you want to keep some of the software
being blasted away (like Office, say), be sure to jot down the product
key before using Microsoft’s fresh start tool, using something like
Belarc Advisor to find it.
Fill your new computer with software
Why’d we scrape all that junk out? To make room for your own stuff,
silly. New hardware just begs for software to match!
Outfitting your rig is an intensely personal affair, but if you’re looking
for suggestions, PCWorld has a guide to the best free programs that are
so helpful, so handy, so downright useful that they’d be welcome on
pretty much any PC. These review roundups can also guide you to-
wards some of the best software around:
Head towards Ninite when it comes time to actually install all that
software. Ninite is sort of like an anti-PC Decrapifierit lets you in-
stall numerous free applications of your choice all at once, even going
so far as to automatically disable the bundled crapware that many free
programs try to sneak in as part of the installation process. It’s a won-
derfully handy tool that takes the pain out of loading up a new PC.
Back up your new computer
After all that, your PC is finally ready to rock: It’s safe, up to date,
scrubbed free of junk, and full of software fine-tuned to meet your
specific needs. The end is in sight! But we’re not done juuuuuust yet.
Now that your PC’s in fighting shape it’s an ideal time to create a
clone or image of your primary hard drivethe one Windows boots
fromand save it to another hard drive. A clone or image creates a
snapshot replica of your drive, which you can use to boot up Windows
if your primary drive gives up the ghost. Having an image of your sys-
tem in its current updated, bloatware free, customized state prevents
you from having to do all that legwork over again if you ever have to
reinstall Windows for any reason.
So what’s the difference between a clone and an image? Essentially, a
clone creates an exact copy of your hard drive on another drivefiles,
master boot record, and all. The clone consumes the entire hard drive,
but it’s plug-and-play if you ever need to use it. Images, on the other
hand, create a single, mammoth file containing all the stuff on your PC.
It takes a bit more work to get an image backup ready to roll after a
disaster, but you have more flexibility in how you store it, since it’s
essentially just a great big file. Lincoln Spector has a more detailed
comparison if you’re interested.
There are excellent backup tools available that let you create clones
and images, which we cover in detail in PCWorld’s roundups of the
best Windows backup software and best online backup services. Don’t
want to pay for data protection? We’ve also rounded up the best free
backup options, and if you don’t mind performing more technical
gruntwork to save some cash, we explain how to use Windows’ native
imaging tool step-by-step in PCWorld’s guide to creating a free, fool-
proof backup system. Use something though. Regular backups are your
data’s only savior if disaster strikes.
Optional: Update your new PC’s drivers
This step isn’t for everyone. Few things can introduce troublesome
ghosts in your machine faster than a driver that refuses to play nice for
whatever reason. If your from-the-box desktop PC is working fine and
How to set up your new
computer
Set up antivirus, clear out bloatware, and perform
other tasks to keep your PC humming well into the
future.
So you’ve got a new computer. Awesome! That humble metal box is
the key to a wide world of potential. It can help you with everything
from juggling your finances to keeping in touch with your family to
blowing off some steam on, uh, Steam.
But a new PC isn’t like a new car; you can’t just turn a key and put the
pedal to the metal. Okay, maybe you can—but you shouldn’t. Perform-
ing just a few simple activities when you first fire it up can help it be
safer, faster, and better poised for the future. Here’s how to set up a
new laptop or desktop computer the right way, step by step.
Run Windows Update on your new PC
The first step is by far the most tedious. You shouldn’t muck around on
the web unless your copy of Windows is fully patched and up to date,
period. Now for the bad news: Depending on how long your PC sat on
the retail shelf, this could take minutesor hours. Either way, it has to
get done.
First, make sure your PC’s connected to the Internet. In Windows 10,
open the Start menu and head to Settings > Update and security
> Check for Updates. Your system will search for updates, and find
some. Download and install them, then reboot your computer and do it
again… and again… and again… until the update check fails to return
new entries. Hopefully it won’t take too long, but in worst-case scenar-
ios updating a new computer can take an hour or more.
On the bright side, Windows 10 will download and install new updates
as they roll out in the future. You just have to get over this initial
hump!
Install your favorite browser
Surfing the web in an unfamiliar browser is like trying to tango while
you’re wearing someone else’s shoes. It can be done, but it ain’t pretty.
Here are direct links for Chrome, Firefox, and Opera if Edge isn’t your
thing.
Chrome has been our go-to pick for years, but a resurgent Opera
usurped Firefox for second-place in our most recent round of web
browser testing. If your tastes lean more exotic, you could always dab-
ble with one of these 10 obscure, highly specialized browsers, too.
Set up your new PC’s security
Now that you’ve slipped into something more comfortable, it’s time to
get your security ducks in a row.
Windows 10 ships with Windows Security enabled by default unless
your laptop or desktop includes a third-party antivirus trial. Security is
a solid, if not overly detailed solution that’s dead-simple to use and
probably good enough for most people. It isn’t the most full-featured
anti-malware solution out there, though. You can’t even schedule
scans! PCWorld’s guide to the best antivirus for Windows PCs can
help you find all the right tools to keep your PC protected.
We also have a guide to building a solid free security suite, but it takes
more legwork and hassle than premium antivirus options.
Clean your computer’s bloatware
With your defenses up, it’s time to start shoveling the crap out of your
PC.
You can skip this step if you built your own Windows PC. Straight
Windows installations don’t come with excess junk cluttering up your
hard drive. But boxed PCs from big-name PC makers are inevitably
brimming with bloatware.
Fortunately, there’s PC Decrapifier, a straightforwardly named tool
that scans your PC for known bloatware, then allows you to wipe it all
away in one fell swoop. It’s far faster than hunting through the Control
Panel, eradicating crapware piece by piece. Better yet, it’s free.
Bayon Pearnik®
Adam Parker,
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
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Health Editor
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“We accept anybody’s ravings—we often print them!”
you only ever plan to perform basic tasks like surfing the web, working
with Office, and stuff like that, feel free to forget your computer even
has drivers and keep on keeping on. Windows Update should’ve
snagged reasonably new drivers for your hardware anyway.
You’ll spend some time staring at the Device Manager if you built
your own PC and need to update your drivers manually.
But if you cobbled together a DIY rig or are rocking a gaming ma-
chine, it’s a good idea to see if newer drivers are available for your
hardware. Windows Update isn’t always on the bleeding edge of driver
updates, and new drivers for, say, your motherboard or network card
can provide beneficial feature and performance updates. Gamers will
need to update their graphics card drivers fairly often to ensure optimal
performance in the newest games.
PCWorld’s guide to updating your Windows drivers has all the info
you need to proceed. It was written for Windows 8, but if you search
for Device Manager in Windows 10, all of the same steps outlined in
the article still apply. If a driver does somehow manage to bork your
PC, fear not, as Windows automatically creates a System Restore
Point when you install new device drivers.
And if true disaster strikes in some bizarre, extreme case, you’ve got
the backup image you’ve created—right?
Optional: Learn about your new computer
Now that all the hard work is done, take time to learn all the nooks and
crannies of Windows 10—there’s an awful lot of surprisingly power-
ful, downright helpful tools and tricks hidden in its depths. Check out
PCWorld’s guide to the best Windows 10 tips, tools, and tricks, which
we update with every major twice-annual Windows update. You’ll
pick up a lot of helpful knowledge.
Wrap-up
At this point you’re pretty much ready to roll. Sure, there are some
other tasks you should perform, such as moving over files from your
old PC and saving the product keys for Windows and your other in-
stalled software (again, Belarc Advisor rocks for that), but you can do
all that at your leisure. For now, just bask in the glory of owning a new
PC, secure in the knowledge that it’s fully optimized, protected against
attack, and recoverable if disaster strikes.
Enjoy!
Another of the few Barang drinking establishments remaining in
Sinoukville is no longer, Jack and Daniels Bar closed its doors and
will become something Chinese orientated of course. It pretty
much just leaves the Big Easy and the Monkey Republic as it in
that area for places to drink, plus Above Us Only Sky down on the
Serendipity end Ochheatal beach, which has been pretty quiet of
late.
In the Sinoukville police blotter there has been a fair bit of activ-
ity.As it is another month then that means that there has been an-
other group/gang fight involving the Chinese. One of the latest is
when a group of drunken casino workers came back to their resi-
dential compound without the correct identification on them. The
Khmer security guards would not let them in and a ruckus ensued
with other residents of the accommodation compound ganging up
on the Khmer security guards and a fight began which was broken
up by the police who made arrests. Early in the month one of the
Sino Overlords died in a testosterone fuelled fight when one group
visited a local brothel and did not want to wait their turn and a fight
with knives erupted with another group who was waiting their turn.
This was around the same time as one Chinese restaurant worker
stabbed a colleague to death after being insulted, who knew they
took their food so seriously. It seems to be a monthly occurrence
that yet another Chinese Extortion gang has been arrested with
weapons including knives, sticks, handcuffs and a gun.
The big news, which is getting publicity on social media, but seems
to be being largely ignored in the press is the state of the beaches.
Sokha beach is having a sewerage and image problem with foul
water now polluting what was one of the few clean beaches. Mean-
while Ochheateal beach is becoming a huge sewerage pond. A
Khmer environmental activist recently did a video showing a cou-
ple of dozen pipes emptying raw sewerage onto the beach, which
eventually runs out to sea. He had the water there tested in Phnom
Penh and it was indeed waste water. Swim in the beaches at
Sinoukville at your own risk and Typhoid continues to be a risk.
The plight and transformation of Sinoukville is getting some press
in foreign media but there is as yet no pressure on authorities to do
anything about the poor infrastructure. Articles highlight the rental
increases and the impact on Khmers, with quoted locals saying that
many people have been forced to move back to the provinces due
to increased rents and lack of availability. A couple of Barangs that
continue to reside in town are looking for a new place due to one of
the highest rent increases we have heard of; the rent on their two
bedroom house (located in what is now the booming red light dis-
trict) will go up from the $500 they negotiated at the start of 2018,
to a whopping $4,000 per month.
Maybe it is the high rents that
have prevented any noticeable
action taking place by any of the
task forces that were announced a
couple of months ago to help get
Sinoukville back on the correct
path as they not appear to have
been doing anything except col-
lection of salaries. However it
must be said that the roads are
continuing to be rebuilt, but as yet
the much promised improvement
in the water supply has not yet
taken place.
The rumour mill is in overdrive
regarding KohRongSanleom. The
current rumour is that the Chinese
have leased the whole island, except for M’Paibay village and all
the existing businesses will have their leases cancelled. Given that
a large Regalcomglomerate (heavily aligned with Chinese inter-
ests) is supposed to have a lease over the island for 99 years from
2008, gives weight to the rumour, but we will believe it when we
see it with this one.
Meanwhile the transformation of a sleepy town that was Kampot
into the old Sihanoukvilleis also taking place so it seems and at a
similar speedy pace. There has been a noticeable increase in deaths
of Westerners in hotels, often from “Heart Attacks”, which would
appear to be bought on by high quality illicit substances. But one
poor young guy did it a bit differently, falling from a rooftop, no
one knows if it was an accident or a choice. In addition there have
been a few drug busts recently involving Barangs and a token
Khmer (usually a female it seems), some of the busts include some
very large quantities of substances.
How long it will be before the new Kampot becomes the new
(current) Sinoukville remains to be seen as the rumour doing the
rounds here is that 8 casino licenses have been granted for Kampot.
Let us hope that the rumours are not true with this one. We wonder
if they will do any good as the Casino on Bokor Mountain is empty
and the very hastily refurbished old casino is starting to fall to
pieces. Another rumour is that the Chinese are interested in taking
the whole of Fish Island. We are not sure about that one coming off
but we note that land prices in and around Kampot continue to rise
rapidly and rents are on the increase as well. Commercial rents
around the Old Market continue to rise to the point of questionable
financial viability for any hardy soul who wants to open a business
there.
One of our favourites from Bits from the Beach, the Affable Aussie
Dave Ex has remerged from a hibernation after a couple of rough
starts in Kampot, he is (at time of writing) running a small resort in
Kep apparently aptly named Bogan Villas. Bets can be made with
Kevin at the Bundy Bar on how long before he is Ex Bogan Villa
Dave, but we suggest you get your bets on early.
Have the BBQ wars taken their toll? The Texas BBQ café has fi-
nally reopened its doors in the new location (near Walkabout). This
previously non going concern has been for sale for a while at an
ever reducing price, maybe they will have more luck selling it as a
going concern. Meanwhile across the river the RazorBack BBQ,
located on the riverfront right beside the old bridge is also up for
sale at a decent asking price for a business that has only been going
a relatively short time.
It seems that sausage wars have broken out between Sinoukville
and Kampot. The recently opened JJ’s in Kampot is, according to
the owner Big Al, not associated with his late fathers (JJ, John Gir-
van) business. The business in
Sihanoukville have been re-
branded JJ Girv’s to differenti-
ate it from the usurpers and is
now a wholesale small goods
suppliers. (Editors Note: In a bit
of shameless cross advertiser
promotion, JJ Girv’s goods are
still available from The Pub in
street 174 in Phnom Penh).
Speaking of food in Kampot,
Kristan at The Dog House, who
does tasty great value food spe-
cials nearly daily, has been mak-
ing some very popular English
Pork pies, which are going
down well with the British com-
munity. The Dog House killer
pool night on a Wednesday is also becoming more popular.
Snooky tent city! lol