the leassor is a VIP. Rents and such are moving up so fast the
temptation to cheat is difficult for some owners to pass up.
At a certain point those high rents will not be sustainable. They
may be doing fine now, but down in the depths of low season,
like in September when the streets are deserted, they’ll be lucky
to pay the rent. As I understand it, some places in Phnom Penh
are seeing owners offering discounts because their rents were too
Many people, mostly Khmer it seems, are building new houses
for rent and offering them at high rents, like $300 to $500 for two
bedrooms. Those rents, I guess, are reflecting rising property
values. I expect they’re getting it since to a former resident of
London or New York that seems absurdly low, but when you ask
a high rent you also encourage people to keep looking for some-
thing more reasonable. The people who rented the large new
house across the street from me, at $600 month, only lasted a
month or two and it’s now been vacant for more than two weeks.
Whatever you gain in high rents you might lose in vacancies.
People are also asking as much as $250 a month for single rooms
without even a kitchen. Meanwhile, back in a parallel universe,
when I pointed out to a Khmer friend a row of single room apart-
ments in my neighborhood with kitchenettes, that go for $40 a
month she said ‘expensive’. Those are well-maintained and have
a pleasant open space in front of them. In fact I don’t know if
they are $40, but the ones just down the road are all occupied by
westerners and they do go for $40. There are lots of studios avail-
able in my neighborhood since a large nurses school is nearby.
Many are dark and funky and clearly go for much less.
Even I’ve been caught up in the whirlwind. After saying for a
long time that my landlady will never raise the rent on me, she
just did, from $150 to $170; that’s for an equivalent 2 bedroom
house on a 15 x 30 meter lot. Of course, I’ve been there for 11
years and though I paid too much in the beginning, rents for an
equivalent place have grown way beyond the $170 I’ll be paying
next month. Still my rent is always on time so there’s no loss
from vacancies and I do most of the improvements and repairs.
She’s got me over a barrel, at 77 I probably wouldn’t live long
enough to replace the garden I’ve created here if I were forced to
move, so I’ll put up a bit of a fuss if she wants to raise it again
next year. After all, that $20 increase ate up my entire pension
There’s still talk of the Chinese moving in, but I know of only
Early in the day on New Year’s Eve people had staked out their
picnic spaces on the riverside park and spread out their mats for
the big night. From the new bridge south to the administrative
center about two kilometers away, every spare centimeter was
taken. I didn’t realize what was happening until I later saw the
space entirely taken up by picnickers.
Then starting at the old bridge heading south the street was
closed to vehicle traffic. About a kilometer south of the old
bridge the road was lined with booths selling every manner of
merchandise, just about all of which you can find in all the other
markets, still the street was packed with people and at the far
end of the booths was the concert stage. One thing I noticed that
I hadn’t seen before was vendors selling roasted chest-
While estimating/guestimating crowd size is fraught
with peril, I’d say there had to be 20 to 30,000 people
there, which when you come down to it is mighty im-
pressive for a city of only 60,000 people. Everybody
and his uncle was there and lots I imagine came over
from the rest of the province. With all groups repre-
sented including the Muslim Cham it was a fun night
for the locals.
One aspect of Cambodian culture that stands out is
their love of being around other people. The more
crowded it is the happier they are, so massive crowds
are like an elixir to them. Most other people I expect
shy away from that kind of human density, but not
Khmers, they thrive on it.
The fireworks weren’t first class but you’d hardly ex-
pect that in a small town. The river is actually a per-
fect spot for all that activity with one caveat; there’s
no alternate route around the event without a long de-
tour. A friend had a guest house past the event area
and quite often the road would be blocked with no
way for guests to get to his place. I expect there is a way around
on the back streets, but I tried and couldn’t find it. Signs of
course would help if there actually is one.
The town is hopping for sure with high season in full swing.
There are music events somewhere every night with some
nights more than one. Well, sure it ain’t Phnom Penh but there’s
plenty enough happening to keep ya busy. Almost everybody is
getting good trade including the places that are mostly empty in
off season. That’s how it works in a town that lives in large part
on tourism and snowbird expats, you know, the kind who fly
away to warmer climes when the chilly weather hits back
‘home’. You have to do well in high season to barely survive
the skimpy times.
Well everybody is here now and like I say it’s running full
steam. You can tell by the number of families, probably mostly
Europeans, you see walking around town, the big tour buses of
mostly old folks being guided around the riverfront one time I
saw four as well as the hordes of youngish backpacker types.
The people who leased the Kampot Riverside Hotel got a rude
awakening recently when the owner broke the lease and told
them to move on, they’d only been there a year or so and put a
lot of effort into it. Another fella was told, upon the termination
of the first 5 years of the lease on his bar, that the owner would-
n’t accept the previously agreed conditions for extending it.
They weren’t happy with doubling the rent as agreed, they
wanted more than 3 times… $300 to $1000. So when I see a
business advertised for sale with a long lease at very favorable
terms, I think, well maybe, maybe not. A lease here is only as
good as the honesty and integrity of the property owner. Lawyer
up and sue? Chances are not good for success, practically nil if
Lion Brewery Straits Pale Ale which is a bit cheaper $2 in my
favorite bars. It’s got a light taste, some would say thin, but is
definitely far and above our everyday lagers and is only 4.5%. I
prefer it whenever I can spring for the extra dollar because I can
drink more without getting as drunk.
From VN Fuzzy Logic IPA and Jasmine IPA are among quite a
few others being locally imported. The Jasmine IPA is really
superior with, of course, that wonderful jasmine taste. The only
detraction, in addition to it being quite expensive, is that it and
many of the other VN craft beers are only in cans, arguably the
least tasty method of brewing. Bottles are best, though unfortu-
nately here the least ecological. Small numbers are washed and
reused by small outfits but that’s a small fraction of what’s being
generated. Draft is the most environmental way to package beer,
since the kegs can be used almost indefinitely.
Meanwhile, poor bastard that I am, at home I drink the new oxy-
moron beer. No it’s not called that, it’s Klang smooth, a 4.3%
pilsner. Since klang is the Khmer word for strong, it’s basically a
weak strong beer, thus the oxymoron. In case you’re not familiar
with oxymorons, think jumbo shrimp, old news, stand down. It
also has the advantage of being really cheap, $7.50 for a case, so
perfect for a geezer on a minimal pension. That’s one of the
blessings of living here; you can be just scraping by but still have
enough dough to sit down for a few $1 or less beers at your fa-
vorite bar almost every night.
Talked to a guy traveling SE Asia who was in the beer business
back in the states. He described the situation in Thailand where
regulations make it almost impossible to open a micro brewery.
There are lots of craft beers around but they’re all imported and
thus extra expensive. The beauty of our adopted country is it’s
free-for-all economics. Anybody who thinks they can make a go
of it is welcome to try.
While we’re on the subject of beer, Cambodia is now providing
its bar customers with tall glasses, which I’m told is called a pils-
ner glass. I guess they believe people will think they’re drinking
a higher class beer if it’s in a tall glass instead of a mug. I won’t
accept them, they’re so easy to tip over when you’re a bit tipsy,
they just fly across the bar when they’re near me. Give me a solid
heavy, stable old mug and I’m happy.
In addition to new beers coming online, there’re lots of people
doing baked goods and processed meats. Their products are gen-
erally superior and it’s great to buy local, but I do have a com-
plaint/suggestion. As long as you’ve gone to the point of packag-
ing your wares, it’d sure be nice if you would include a list of
ingredients and how much it weighs so I can tell what I’m eating
and judge what kind of deal I’m getting. One last note: I won’t
buy anything priced in 9s, like $2.99, I mean what’s the shop
owner to do to give change, tear a 100 riel note in half? Besides
the whole 99 thing is part of the insane consumer culture we’re
all part of. Like trying to make you think it’s less than it really is
so you’ll buy more.
one commercial property changing so far. It’s almost all locals
and western expats jacking the prices up.
Ecran, our local sorta hippie movie theater has closed. I’m dis-
appointed because since they opened I’ve only seen movies on
their big 3 by 4 meter screen. I have no desire whatever to
watch a movie on a TV or computer screen, unless I’m on a
plane facing a 12 hour flight where I practically have no choice.
If you are not sitting down at a real theater, there’ll always be
distractions or interruptions. And you can’t really compare the
wonder of seeing a movie set in the great outdoors on a big
screen to TV size, even big TV size, especially with my tired
old eyes. I do understand why it was shuttered: I was often
the only one there or one of a select few and even I didn’t
manage to go that often. The smaller rooms were well at-
tended at times so it’s good timing that a new bar called Top
Hat is setting up movie rooms. We’ll see how that goes.
Every couple weeks a new girly bar opens up around town,
now about 10. As mentioned before, I’d prefer if they were
all shunted over to a special district instead of plunked down
in the midst of general businesses. Misconceptions about the
scene abound among the general expat population so at the
risk of getting myself into trouble, I’ll try to clear some up.
I was talking to a friend at a music event at a very nice restau-
rant. She’d been mostly living in the capital. She remarked
about the large number of new brothels around town. Broth-
els? Turns out she was referring to the hostess bars. So to clar-
ify, a brothel is a place where you go, pick out a sausage server
and go to a back room to do the deed. All quick and easy.
While it’s true that most hostesses are available for the same, by
no means are all and there’re even a few virgins scattered
around. As opposed to a brothel where the woman will almost
never reject a client, extracurricular activities by hostesses are
totally at her discretion and rejections are not uncommon. In
fact, it’s a serious offence for an owner to insist on staff going
with specific customers. A few years back a Phnom Penh bar
owner, who happened to be Korean, told an employee she had
to go with a friend of his. Instead she went directly to the police
and if I remember correctly he spent 2 years behind bars for that
Ironically enough, there is a brothel within an easy toss, not
even a throw, from where we were talking. There used to be
about half dozen brothels thinly disguised as massage shops on
a block adjacent to the old market, center of expat traffic. I
should add they cater to locals. With gentrification only two are
left. The one in question is sandwiched in between two of Kam-
pot’s best restaurants, with only one other shop, a bookstore,
along side it. One restaurant I know of is recognized as having
quality food, the other is new, but their initial menu had main
courses for $8 to $18 and it looks very well put together so you
can take it from there. The woman friend mentioned above was-
n’t the first to decry the sex trade while unknowingly living just
around the corner from same.
That’s part of Cambodia’s live and let live culture. If you mind
your business and don’t cause any problems, you’ll be left
alone, though in this case I expect there’s tea money exchanged
for the privilege of operating. I don’t think the remaining ones
will be around long. Storefronts are getting too expensive.
You can tell we’re getting up in the world by the number and
variety of western type coffee stands and fru-fru coffee shops
proliferating. The two shops closest to me are both in the proc-
ess of doubling their floor space after only a year in business.
They seem to be mostly frequented by locals, but lots of west-
erners stop at the streetside stands.
Also proliferating are locally Kampot and national brewed
beers but lots of excellent brews are also coming from Vietnam.
Yuki’s Flower brand brews some tasty IPAs; his Duck Walk
IPA has got a striking smoky flavor. There’s also brand new
Freak Brothers Brewery with a fine Amber at 6.8%. From PP is
with a Liverpudlian accent before, as he immediately arrested him
for public intoxication after hearing him say just a few words.
“My client received a statutory automatic fine of $25 with an extra
$91 in costs, which despite being innocent he was actually happy
to pay. Mainly because it’s just a drop in the ocean to Wayne he
earns more than that figure every time he touches the ball in train-
“Plus he would have only spent it on booze anyway.”
‘I’ll do whatever the f**k I want’, says 97-year-old who can do
whatever the f**k he wants
A 97-YEAR-OLD who can do whatever he fucking feels like has
confirmed his intention to do exactly that.
After causing a car crash, Philip Mountbatten, from Norfolk, Berk-
shire, Aberdeenshire, and Belgravia, asked what anyone was going
to do to stop him.
Mountbatten, who also believes that seat belts are ‘effeminate’,
said: “What are you going to do, throw me in jail? I’m 97, that’s
just horrible. Or perhaps you’re going to fine me 500 quid? Is that
a lot of money? I have absolutely no idea.”
The retired naval officer added: “If I fucking well feel like it, I’ll
steal your car, crash it into your living room and then walk away
shortly after insulting you, based on what I believe to be your eth-
“And for the avoidance of doubt, I’d do this even if my wife’s coat
of arms wasn’t nailed to the wall of every court house in the coun-
“Now get out of my way, you Irish-looking homosexual.”
The most influential bellends of 2018
HERE’S the rundown of 2018’s prize bellends plus a few that
may surprise you.
Theresa May
In 2018 Theresa’s grim determination to hang on in there has been
an inspiration to unwelcome guests, stubborn stains and unflush-
able turds everywhere.
Always the twats of the
avian community, in 2018
pigeons were up to their
usual tricks such as shitting
everywhere and striding
around your garden like the
puffed-up, pompous little
bastards they are.
Donald Trump
An obvious but necessary
inclusion in the list. The
big question is what non-
sense will pop into his head
in 2019. Rumour has it his
CIA bodyguards prevent
him from watching The
Handmaid’s Tale in case it
gives him ideas.
Elon Musk
Musk’s ‘paedo’ comments
confirmed he is not a gen-
ius-level polymath, just a
self-promoting nerd who
got rich from something
quite dull, in this case Pay-
Pal, with an unoriginal interest in space travel. (See also: Branson,
Your Brexit uncle
2018 was a great year for your Brexit uncle, who still has zero
factual knowledge of what the EU is. His current obsessions are
Jacob Rees-Mogg asks his LBC listeners which race of boy
makes the best chimney sweep
Jacob Rees-Mogg has a new radio show on LBC, and will be
discussing with his audience the important issues of the day.
The deputy Demon headmaster has had occasional presenting
slots on the radio call-in station for angry and bewildered tele-
phone users, and has now been given his own show for some
bloody reason.
“Hello peasants,” greeted the haunted Victorian trouser press.
“I must say this is all jolly exciting. My own slot on the wire-
less. None of this Spotify nonsense.
“Well, let’s start as we mean to go on, and get down to the is-
sues that truly affect us all…I want to know which race of young
boy you think is best suited to shimmy up the chimney and give
it a damn good seeing to.
“I know we all have our fondness for a cockney but, let’s be
honest, most of them are busy breaking into Transit vans these
days, so I doubt we can use them anymore!
“What say you? Would the luck of the Irish best suit your flue?
How about a plucky Indian? An athletic young Polack? Or
would you risk it all on a Welshman?
“You can telephone me right now to let me know your thoughts.
Dial 512 and state your business!”
LBC producer, Simon Williams, sighed “This is the tip of the
“Other topics he wants to discuss include how many grandfather
clocks is TOO many, is it time for a new soup spoon design,
should a boot scraper become a mandatory part of all new-build
“He wants to talk about bringing back hanging as well. I’m actu-
ally looking forward to that one the MOST.”
American cop who arrested Rooney for public intoxication
had just never heard a scouse accent before
The American police officer who arrested Wayne Rooney for
‘public intoxication’ at Dulles
International Airport in Virginia
has apologised after subse-
quently learning that this is how
the footballer speaks all the time.
Police officer Chuck Williams,
who arrested the former England
and Manchester United captain,
apologised saying, “With the
strange slurred and gutteral ut-
terings coming from his mouth,
coupled with his inability to
process simple verbal instruc-
tions, I assumed he was drunk
my bad.
“Having done some research, I
now realise that this is just his
accent and normal mental capa-
bility. Also, I now see that the
Beatles weren’t permanently
sozzled during each and every
one of their TV interviews, as I
had previously thought.”
In a statement, Wayne Rooney’s
lawyer Simon Williams said,
“When I heard that Wayne had
been arrested at an airport, I naturally assumed it was because
he’d been found cavorting with an elderly prostitute or some-
“But it appears to have been a simple misunderstanding on be-
half of the cop, who had evidently never heard anyone speaking
Those Have I Got News For You appearances? Don’t bear re-
Finally, of course, the entire Brexit clusterfuck is my responsibil-
ity. I gulled half the country into voting for utter ruin because I
calculated it would help my career. Whoops!
Yet here I am, poised to run the country, my long record of lies,
fuck-ups and moral hypocrisy no obstacle at all.
We really can have it all.
Twitter storm of f**k all interest to any normal person enters
sixth day
A ROW about an obscure thing normal people do not care about
has been raging in the Twittersphere for almost a week.
The argument has generated thousands of heated responses from
social media obsessives and the usual 40 influential Twitter peo-
ple who surely have better things to do with their time.
Twitter user Martin Bishop said: “JK Rowling, Piers Morgan,
Owen Jones, David Baddiel, Giles Coren and Katie Hopkins
have all made their feelings clear.
“This tsunami of a Twitter storm is clearly very important be-
cause there’ve also been tweets from Gary Lineker, Julia Hartley
-Brewer and the bloke Alan Partridge said ‘Smell my cheese!’
“I hardly need repeat what was in the original tweet because
unless you’re a hermit who doesn’t monitor Twitter second-by-
second you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.
“Suffice to say it shows that we’ve become a nation of snow-
flakes, or fascists, or indeed a nation of fascist snowflakes.”
However pensioner Mary Fisher said: “Twitty what? It’s not
raining, is it? Excuse me, I have to go and buy some sausages
for our tea.”
‘WTO rules’ and the ‘gilets jaunes’. He doesn’t understand
either, but does like bad things happening to the French.
Han Solo
The young Han Solo, it turns out, is pretty bland and got his
name from an Imperial HR guy, another important step in the
franchise’s baffling quest to ruin every original character.
Daily Mail commenters
Despite the loss of nutter-in-chief Paul Dacre, Daily Mail com-
menters have not given up posting hate-filled opinions based
on their childlike understanding of the world. Do you feel Brit-
ain would benefit if we hanged all students? There will always
be a Mail reader who agrees with you.
‘Tommy Robinson’
Stephen ‘Tommy Robinson’ Yaxley-Lennon was always a
significant bellend, but this year he was appointed UKIP’s
‘grooming gangs adviser’, a title so twattish it makes ‘chicken
molester’ sound impressive.
How to have the best of both worlds, by Boris Johnson
PEOPLE say ‘you can’t have it all’. But as a talentless, failed
foreign secretary openly living with his 30-year-old mistress
and who remains favourite to be prime minister, I respectfully
Let’s remember, I wasn’t any good as mayor. And also that
Brexit is my fault. But back to the mayor thing for a moment;
all I did in eight years was to have my name linked with vari-
ous disastrous river crossings.
My most significant achievement, the ‘Boris bike’, wasn’t even
mine. Livingstone did it. And it’s not like they’re that brilliant.
Bet you’ve not been on one. But here I am.
And, leaving Brexit aside for just a little longer, the mistress I’m
with now is hardly my first. I’ve got a love child in every London
borough, even ones like Havering and Waltham Forest.
Foreign secretary? Among the worst in history. Newspaper col-
umnist? Self-serving arse shavings for stupid amounts of money.
I am going to have to come up with a new title for the Evil Pub-
lisher suggestions are welcome as he has once again in-
dulged this poor procrastinating pub-crawler and forgiven my
failed attempts at making deadlines.
Let’s start with Golden Sorya Mall. Amazingly, I actually have
updates. They seem to have discovered the magic price point as
there is a lot going on. Three new places have already opened
along 51 St.and it looks like two or
three more are on the way. Two of the
new places are clearly aimed at a
Khmer crowd one does not have an
English menu yet, but all seemed
happy to serve. Places can e quite
crowded in the wee hours. Before talk-
ing about the bars, also want to point
out that pool tables have materialized
in the main part of the mall - a very
welcome addition that get a lot of use
at night. Hopefully more will show up
if the crowds start dropping by.
So new GSM bars 06 Bar opens at
6 p.m. and usually closes around 3 am.
Most of the cocktails are USD 2.5 for a
small glass and USD 6 for a large one.
Bottled beers are generally $1.75 ex-
cept for Corona at a whopping $2. In
cases the prices were not enough of an
inducement, their idea of a promotion
is buy 5 and get 1 free. Happy drink-
24 Drinks opens at 6 p.m. and I was
told stays open until morning I am
not sure that is 24 hours, even in
Phnom Penh. This is the place with the
Khmer only menu, but it is a work in
progress, and they were still sorting
things out when I dropped by. In fact,
they told me that most of their drinks were not on the menu yet.
The one I looked at just had lots of cheap beer and sodas. Not a
bad thing actually. The staff spoke English so you will have no
problems even if your Khmer is as spotty as mine and there were
a bunch of other drink options. Good place to grab a couple of
cheap drinks in the wee hours but can get a bit noisy on a busy
night. Spirits are available just off menu.
Last of the new places Cocktail Flair Bar make what you will
of the name. Friendly place right by the pool table and com-
fortable seating. Cocktails are USD 4 and anchor draftsare $1
and tiger $2. The place is about keeping you smiling so don’t be
surprised if the bartenders do some tricks for you or through a
free shot your way. Does not seem as crowded as some of the
other new places but the people there when I have dropped or
passed by are usually looking pretty happy.
There are already two other places being fixed up along 51 St.
and I overheard one say that they are going for karaoke
UGH!!! but hopefully there will be enough traffic in the mall
to get the rest of the places rented out. BTW there is a good
little burger/steak place that has opened up in the mall on 51 St.,
but I can never remember to check the hours maybe for next
Before leaving 51 St, I dropped by Shanghai again and found out
I had missed the BBQ this month. Turns out it is generally the
2nd Friday of each month and I am hoping to get there next time
Is it just me or is hard to swing a dead cat on the riverside without
hitting a cheap draft special (in case you are as hungover reading
this as I was writing it – that was metaphorical) …?
Speaking of dead cats (not of the river) there are also a lot of cheap
draft specials during the day on 136 St. When walking by, it seems
that a lot of the bars do better busi-
ness during the day than during the
Although speaking of riverfront (not
of dead cats) I ended up a few times
this month enjoying a coffee or a
more frothy beverage at Grand River
on the corner of 178 St. across from
FCC. The place can get a bit busy
but still one of my favourite spots for
a late afternoon chill while watching
the world walk by. It is open from
8 am until midnight and has a happy
hour from 4:30 7:30 pm with draft
at USD 1 and cocktails at USD 3. As
Hawkeye would say finest kind
One obituary before moving off the
riverfront Paddy Rice seems to
have bit the dust and a few street
sleepers have moved in between the
cars parked in front. Was never a
huge fan of the place but ended up
there once in a while. Curious to see
what will replace it.
Something seems to be happening at
Sundance on 172 St., I said I would
give a plug to the attempts to bring in
some more evening business to this
popular local daytime spot, but de-
tails will have to wait.
To cap off for this month, I ended up at Vine on 172 St. last night
after hearing some big-time accolades from a few friends. Oddly
the place is a mix of tattoo ship, hair salon and bar. The former two
are open from about noon to 8 pm (probably a good idea to shut
them down before the heavy drinking although you think you could
sell a lot of tattoos and funny hair cuts to drunk bar customers).
The bar stays open until around 2. Unfortunately, I had more than I
thought before walking in so can’t remember what the bartender
told me the beers or spirits cost (I did write it down but typed out
gibberish), but I got induced into trying to slurp a extra white Rus-
sian (just Vanilla vodka and milk no Kahlua) through a Tim Tam
(an Aussie cookie) (I screwed up and did not have enough of a hole
to suck the drink up) and a really tasty espresso martini. Highly
recommend the latter and wish they were open for breakfast this
morning as that might have chased away my headache. Basically,
a friendly chill place with a bit of outdoor seating and a small bar
area. The menu is on the blackboard with most cocktails at $4 and
shots at $2.
Th-th-th-that's all folks!"
Phnom Penh Gover-
nor Khuong Sreng on
Tuesday ordered all
district authorities to
prepare measures to
enforce the ban to
ensure public order
and smoother traffic
flow along the streets.
“From the first of July
this year onwards, the
Phnom Penh admini-
stration requires citi-
zens to find private
places such as pago-
das or churches, or
other suitable loca-
tions to set up their
tent for functions in-
stead of using public
sidewalks,” he said.
“We will not allow
them to set up the
tents on the sidewalks
in the city any more.
This is all rather
strange as these rules
Volume 05 Issue 10 Thursday February 1 2019 0000 Riel
Won hands down by Oc-
cheateul beach in Sinoville.
Yes we have seen the just
imported new beach clean-
ing tractor .
That helps with the rubbish
washed up on the beach, but
where does it come from?
Well after looking at some
rubbish the truth may be it
comes from the islands.
They have no waste disposal
out there so they pay fisher-
men to load up with bags
full and dump it out at sea.
Out of sight out of mind.
The beach may be cleaner
but the water on Occheateul
is filthy. The beach now has
more than twenty raw sew-
age pipes discharging onto it
with many more discharging
around the coast.
Some roads around town
have raw sewage flowing
across them all the time.
The Chinese have turned the
town into a shithole. Its time
to stop them building hotel/
casinos and build infrastruc-
ture first. But the money
keeps flowing into the pocke
were announced six
months ago by city
hall and to be immedi-
ate . As nobody fol-
lowed up on this
maybe they decided
tho have another go at
launching it, As for
pavements. Well the
rules keep changing
About Cambodia
Report: Phnom Penh to
grind to a halt for
ten days due to Chi-
nese New Year
Page 17
When reading this
Khmers will be
dressed for deep
winter Page 17
Chinese kidnapper-
groups battle each
other for a particu-
larly wealthy target.
Page 17
Work permit fees sky-
rocket as the service
goes to private sec-
This is a work of fiction and satire any semblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental
Tent madness to end soon. Maybe!
Another Chinese who thought it was a drive in restaurant! Unfortunately Fried noo-
dles with Ferrari wasn’t on the menu. Probably clogging it whilst pissed like most of
the other muppets.
City Hall has issued a
directive, effective
July 1, banning people
from using public
sidewalks to carry out
businesses activities
or set up tents for
functions such as
w e d d i n g s .
again and again and
seem to only apply to
some streets and not
others. Then when they
are cleared someone
takes it over for bike
parking so its blocked
Pure well loved Phnom
Penh anarchy at its best.
average female parallel organ, as to a disproportionate sex
arousal drive.
FAB experts: “Irrelevant.”
The next case was even more difficult to consider.
“No pants day” is a celebration calling for public exposure
(freezing weather or no) and underwear exposed.
Women’s underwear in this respect may tend toward bikini
thong and be dangled in front of males, for example, in a
crowded subway car.
Version A: “the real man” (not toxified) in this situation re-
mains: imperturbable, eyes smiling a little, in control, not a single
tingling arousal anywhere on his person.
Version B: “the (heavily) toxified male,” as with crowded condi-
tions in the subway car, reaches through, up, and into an available
FAB experts maintain this behavior is no way the responsibility
of the female’s attire on this occasion.
They insist it is not a matter of biological stimulation run amok
for the male, besieged by the clamoring of his smaller head.
No. It is the toxic stereotypes dictating that “a real man” domi-
nates the female whenever and wherever, a la the beasts in the
The Satwell Conference descended into brouhaha at this point,
participants vociferating and quivering.
In one heated dispute a female called out: “Eat my p***y!”
The battle of the sexes continues
Boris Johnson Undergoes Secret Diversity Training Before
Tory Leadership Challenge
Failed "Foreign Secretary" Boris "Bozo" Johnson is undergoing
secret diversity training in preparation for a leadership challenge
to hapless "Prime Minister" Theresa "Maybot" May.
Under the expert tutelage of "comedian" Jim Davidson OBE, Mr
Johnson is learning fast that there will be no more watermelon
smiles, no more piccaninnies, no more letterboxes and no more
attempts at reciting colonial poetry while making overseas tours
of developing countries.
When confronted on the doorstep of his new home, a bedsit in
Tower Hamlets where he has resided since being kicked out of
the family home after admitting to shagging a close female asso-
ciate, Mr Johnson was effusive about Mr Davidson's influence on
his behaviour.
"Jim is a wonderful human being and his knowledge and involve-
ment in our multicultural society is proving very helpful to me.
Alright, so he is infamous for his jokes about women, ethnic mi-
norities, gay and disabled people but it's all good clean fun. I
know he isn't prejudiced against these groups and I am finding it
particularly useful when he introduces his Jamaican alter ego
Chalky White. His accent and mannerisms are truly authentic."
Diversity training is a new venture for Mr Davidson who has
recently been developing adult pantomime shows such as Boobs
in the Wood and Sinderella, both of which have played to sell-out
audiences in Essex.
Ethnic Minority Figure Needs To Be On New £50 Note, Say
Ethnic Minority Figures
More than 200 people have signed a letter published in today's
Sunday Times, saying that a figure from the 'black and ethnic
minority community' should feature on the new £50 note.
Last month, the Bank of England asked the public to nominate a
British scientist for inclusion on the new note, and names already
nominated include computer pioneer, Alan Turing, the late physi-
cist, Stephen Hawking, inventor of the telephone, Alexander Gra-
ham Bell, and Science teacher, Moys Kenwood.
But today's letter in the Sunday Times, signed by people of no
less stature than the unknown (to me) Lord Victor Adebowale,
and controversial Question Time panellist, Baroness Sayeeda
Warsi, states that it is high time that the black and ethnic commu-
Trump To Install Machine Gun Nests Along Mexican Border
President Donald Trump moved quickly today, to reassure resi-
dents living close to the US border with Mexico that, as soon as
he gets the go-ahead from the Democratic Party, his barrier will
be built, along with the bonus of some exciting firepower for
added protection.
Many residents of southern border towns have contacted the
president to say they are "living in fear of the nasty, villainous,
unwashed evil-doers from Mexicas or Honduro or wherever"
who they know are intent on breaking into their backyards to
steal a chicken.
Trump told them to "stand firm!", and had good news.
"I have today authorized myself to install machine gun nests and
machine gun towers with real bullet-firing machine guns like
they had in the World War II movies I've been watching."
The Spoof understands that the machine gun sites will be placed
one mile apart for the entire length of the 1,954-mile border. This
is expected to cost in the region of an extra $28bn, but Trump
says that Americans need not worry, because Mexico will foot
the bill.
Toxic masculinity conference studies short skirts and male
The latest concern on male toxicity (homo toxicitus) focuses on
male sexuality as somehow related, leading to a myriad of new
The essential question is: What is “the real man”? Versus “the
toxic man”?
The male toxicity thesis: males have become poisoned with ag-
gression, anger, coldness, and violence, and think this psycho-
pathic behavior = “masculinity.”
This past weekend Satwell Conference Scholars, from Satwell
University, took on this subject, beginning with an old contro-
versymale response to the female short skirt.
Is “toxicity” a factor in male response to the short skirt, espe-
cially worn by any female considered “hot” in society?
A Satwell Survey indicates males (generally) report increased
arousal with the short skirt (versus the long dress), and a ten-
dency for their hands to plead for exploration.
Additional behaviors include: eyes rolling, legs crossing, panting,
fingers twitching.
But feminist experts in the conference from the group “Fem-All
& Baring” (FAB) responded:
“No, no, no. All this is directly the result of the very syndrome
toxic male aggression on steroidsand no reason women should
restrain their styles!”
As with nude hiking, nude demonstrating, nude carrying a cross
over your shoulder, nude dangling yourself as a tidbit in the
Immediately, however, a barrage of male protest started up that
“natural tendencies” in the male cannot be considered “toxic.”
FAB experts rejoined:
“Why is it that females, generally, although difference in clothing
styles must be considered, do NOT engage in groping behavior?
Satwell Conference experts then applied the term “head” as in the
old Navy admonition to males going on shore leave: “Think with
the bigger of your two heads.”
They pointed out the average male “head” is much larger than the
“Inevitably there will be calls for the Duke to give up his driving
licence after this incident that appears to be an attempt to spoil
the happiness of a young, mixed race couple through the use of
lethal force.
“However, statistically speaking, young male drivers are still far
more likely to crash within six months of passing their test than
older drivers, even if the latter might have a track record of ar-
ranging fatal accidents to deal with nuisance relatives.
“Prince Philip might want to consider upgrading his insurance
from fire, third party and theft, to fire and third party funeral ex-
The Duke added, “Lighten up for heaven’s sake. I only meant to
give her a fright.”
Nation shocked as crap deal presented by incompetent leader
fails to secure outcome no-one wanted
Theresa May has had her arse handed to her by parliament in a
massive blow to fans of crap ideas everywhere.
After parliament voted against her deal by a majority of 230 the
largest defeat of a sitting government in a hundred years people
who enjoy seeing terrible ideas come to fruition have expressed
their disappointment.
Voter Simon Williams told us, “I painted my house pink last
summer, I have a tattoo of an
ex-girlfriend on my back, and I
bought my TV on a finance
deal that means I’ll pay more
than three times as much as
someone who bought it for
cash so when I say I’m a fan
of making crap decisions, you
know I mean it.
“I wanted Theresa May’s deal
to pass mainly because I’m a
moron, but clearly the only
people willing to see it come to
fruition were myself and
“I just don’t understand why
people were so against it? Just
because the terms of the deal
were horrible, and Theresa was
utterly terrible at selling it to
the public, and it delivered an
outcome that fewer and fewer
people actually want that’s
no reason for it to fail. I am
genuinely shocked it failed so
“I’m beginning to regret my
new chest tattoo of Theresa’s
face with the words ‘Greatest PM ever’.”
Parliamentarians have defended their decision to vote against the
deal by insisting that they are stupid, but not that stupid.
Backbench MP Gerald Blythe told us, “I voted with my con-
science, and for what I believe is best for my constituents, which
I will always do.
“Unless it’s politically or personally inconvenient for me, obvi-
nity, which makes up 14% of the country's population, should be
represented on the note.
Support has also now arrived in the form of Stephen Fry's Q.I.
substitute, Sandi Toksvig, though one might reasonably ask one-
self why one might want to listen to the views, on British cur-
rency, of someone born in Denmark.
Males are being mentally abused in society
Boys are being mentally tortured with feminist ideology by
groups of people who believe that they can own other people like
farm cattle.
Feminist institutions, backed by misguided government policy,
are teaching young boys at school to feel guilty and ashamed of
their gender, writes Anderson Winsor.
Deranged Christian-oriented schools want to create torturing ses-
sions where innocent boys are singled out and taught about “the
scale of sexual harassment and violence aimed at female stu-
dents” and how women's rights are important. This makes boys
feel they were born as the wrong gender. Those schools provide
no equal treatment of the genders.
Boys and girls should be taught about the importance of humani-
tarian issues. They should be taught that neither boys nor girls
should be involved in sexual violence against anyone.
In November of last year, Ameri-
can women, who have a dislike
of British people, one a former
sex crime prosecutor, entered a
London school, to re-
programme teenage boys’ sexual
manners so they are fit for a
woman's world”. They com-
pletely ignored female sexual
Parents in Britian should have a
deep concern about what is
taught to their sons in school.
There should be an all male
school for boys to attend if par-
ents want to send them there, a
school where no one is allowed
to manipulate the minds of chil-
dren, and only strict academics is
97-year-old boy racer flips car
A boy racer, 97, has once again
endangered lives by driving errat-
ically while out on the nation’s
The Duke of Edinburgh, who is
married to the Queen, was pulled
from the wreckage of his Range Rover in scenes reminiscent of
the accident he may have arranged twenty years ago in Paris.
In the latest incident, the Duke managed to walk free away from
the carnage unscathed, which is more than can be said for the
occupants of the Mercedes S280 that were swerved into in the
Paris underpass in August 1997.
Prince Philip was said to be tailgating an Audi containing the
recently married Meghan Markle when his vehicle left the road at
considerable speed, causing injury to a stationary cow and a row
of beech trees.
The Duke later emerged from the heap of twisted metal muttering
obscenities at the locals, which is par for the course according to
everyone who knows him.
Meanwhile, the accident has left most of the planet asking just
what the fuck a ninety-seven-year-old is doing behind the wheel
as massive 4×4, youthful reptilian DNA notwithstanding.
President of the Automobile Association, Simon Williams, said,
all of the content on your phone.
Stay updated
Google releases monthly security updates for Android that most newer
phones distribute in a relatively timely manner. You don’t need to
check for themonce one is available, your phone will automatically
let you know. But don’t delay, because it’s easy to forget about them.
Set or schedule an update to be installed as soon as your phone lets you
know it’s available. It only takes a few minutes and it could make all
the difference.
Android security: Moderate protection
Now that the basic stuff is out of the way, let’s work on putting an
even stronger lock on your Android phone.
A password might be a strong way to secure your phone, but it can’t
beat your fingerprint. And if you bought your Android phone within
the past two years, there’s a good chance it has a fingerprint sensor
either below the screen, on the back, or built into the power button.
Find it and head over to your security settings to register one or more
fingerprints. It only takes a few seconds to enact a very important layer
of protection.
Numerous phones also offer face unlocking, but unless you have a
Huawei Mate 20, you should skip these. That’s because most phones
use the 2D front camera to scan your face rather than a 3D map like
with Face ID on the iPhone or Huawei’s depth-sensing camera, so
they’re very easy to spoof with little more than a picture.
Prevent unknown downloads
One of the greatest benefits of Android is also one of it’s biggest risks:
downloading apps that aren’t on the Play Store. When you install an
app from outside Google’s store, you’re losing out on Play Protect and
opening your phone up to possible malware. To keep a lid on any po-
tential trouble, Google has built a way to shut off any accidental or
unintentional downloads. In the Special app access settings, you’ll find
an Unknown sources or Unknown apps tab, which lets you shut off the
installation of apps from a non-Play Store source, such as Depending
on your phone, the mechanism is a little different. Up until Android
Nougat, there was a single toggle that let you either block or install
apps from unknown sources. In Android Oreo and later, permission is
granted on a per-app basis, so you can allow Chrome or Slack to install
apps while blocking others. It’s a good habit to visit this setting every
once in while to make sure there aren’t any malicious apps that are
allowed to install software behind the scenes. If you find any that are,
tap the name and turn the toggle off.
Uninstall apps
Speaking of wayward apps, one of the best ways to keep your system
safe is good, old-fashioned house cleaning. Simply jump into your app
drawer and simply uninstall apps that you haven’t used in a while. It’ll
free up storage and it’ll make sure they don’t turn into potential risks.
Check app permissions
It’s also a good idea to check in on your app permissions every now
and again. When you download an app from the Play Store and launch
it for the first time, Android asks you if it can have access to things like
the microphone, camera, phone, etc. A lot of times we just tap away
access without even realizing what they’re asking for, but you can
always of back and revoke it after the fact. Head over to the Permis-
sions tab inside Apps in Settings and you’ll be able to see which apps
are allowed to do whatand turn off anything that looks suspicious.
Android Security: High protection
If you came here to learn how to turn your Android phone into a vault,
here’s what you need to do.
Disable Smart Lock for Passwords and Auto Sign-in
Smart Lock for Passwords might be convenient, but if you want to lock
down your phone, you’re going to need to handle your passwords on
your own. And that unfortunately means turning off Smart Lock for
Passwords. Here’s why: Google’s method doesn’t use any kind of au-
thentication on a per-site or account basis like password managers do,
so after signing in to your account for the first time on your device, all
of your passwords will be available. That obviously could be a prob-
How to secure, protect, and com-
pletely lock down your Android
Android phones might get a bad rap, but they’re actually quite secure.
Or at least they can be.
With a little work, your Galaxy, Pixel, or OnePlus phone can be a veri-
table fortress, virtually impenetrable to hacks, attacks, and bad apps.
So whether you’re looking for a little extra security or a complete lock-
down of your phone, here’s everything you need to keep your data
from falling into the wrong hands.
Even if you skip the entire set-up process and ignore every safeguard
prompt, your Android phone still does plenty to keep your information
[Google has built a malware scanner right into the Play Store called
Play Protect. First and foremost, it runs a safety check on apps before
you download them, but more importantly, it also checks your phone
for any apps that may have gone awry since you downloaded them. If
it finds any, it will warn you via a notification and in extreme cases
delete them from your device on its own. You can check your Google
Play Protect settings and see the apps it scanned in the Updates tab
inside the My apps & games section of the Play Store.
Ever since Android 5 Lollipop, Android has offered full-device en-
cryption by default, as long as you set some kind of an locking method
on your phone (pattern, pin, or password). In Android 7 Nougat, that
switched to file-based encryption, but the end result is essentially the
same: The data on your phone is protected by 256-bit AES standard
encryption as soon as its locked, so unless someone knows your pass-
code, they can’t see anything.
Android security: Basic protection
You don’t need to be a paranoid android to put a basic layer of protec-
tion on your device, you only need to change a few settings.
Set a password
While newer Android phones offer numerous biometric methods for
unlocking, every phone still requires one of three traditional locking
methods: pattern, PIN, or password. They’re not created equal, though.
A pattern (made on a 9-dot square) is easiest to remember but the least
secure. A 6-digit pin is far better, but the best of all is a random pass-
word. But even if you choose a string of letter and numbers, you
should set a reminder to change once every six months or so. And
make sure it’s not the same as the one that protects your primary
Google account.
Turn on 2-step verification
No matter what you use your phone to do, your Google account is cen-
tral to everything that happens. As the name suggests, with 2-step veri-
fication, you’re adding an extra layer of protection, so even if someone
steals your password they still won’t be able to get into your account.
Here’s how it works. After you’re prompted to enter your Google pass-
word, a code will be sent to your default phone via text or call which
will need to be entered in order to grant access your account.
While this won’t necessarily protect your phone against theft, it will
protect what’s on it. For example, if someone tries to remotely log in to
your Google account from another device, you’ll know via the 2-step
message on your phone. And then you can take the appropriate action
and change your password.
Google offers a handy tool to track a lost or stolen phone right in the
Play Store. Called Find My Device, it lets you track, lock, and erase
your handset from wherever you are with just a tap. After download-
ing, you can sign in using your Google account and allow it to access
your your device’s location. From then on, you’ll be able to log into
Google’s Find My Device site and instantly locate where your phone is
if you lose it. You’ll also be able to remotely lock your device, display
a message or phone number for whomever finds it, or completely erase
Bayon Pearnik®
Adam Parker,
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A. Nonnymouse
, Wordsmiths
, Photos
Maxwell Perkins,
Editor Postmortis
Dexter Coffin III,
Lawrence Connelly,
Rich, Well-Connected Friends of Publisher
Jeff Elson,
Associate Deputy Editor
Dr. Safari,
Health Editor
Ian Velocipede,
James Eckhart,
A. Fortiori, Dan Meat, Etta Moga,
Assistant Associate Deputy Editors
Cletus J. “Bubba” Huckabee, Jr.,
Movie Reviewer
Edward R. Murrow,
Famous Journalist
Autmean Loy, Prakhai Thuich, Som Muiroi,
Overworked Proles
Sdap Otbaan, Ta Madong Thiet,
, Coffee
Dim Sambo,
Systems Support
The Bayon Pearnik is an independent magazine dedicated to raising beer
money as well as encouraging debate over standards of taste, humor and
journalistic ethics. Published every month or so in Phnom Penh. Not to be taken
seriously or while driving or operating heavy machinery. Always consult your
doctor first because we're not responsible for what happens to you.
Advertising, Editorial, Inquiries and anything else :
The Bayon Pearnik, P.O. Box 2279,
Phnom Penh 3.
Advertising, Editorial : 012-803-968 (Adam),
Advertising: 012 887 699 Mol (KHMER/ENGLISH)
“We accept anybody’s ravings—we often print them!”
all notifications from the lock screen, and disable Smart Lock. And it’ll
stay that way until the next time you re-lock your phone.
lem if someone swipes your phone.
You’ll find the toggle inside the security settings for your Google ac-
count, not inside the Security tab in Settings. Once you get there, tap
on Security, then scroll down to Signing in to other sites, and tapped
Saved Passwords. You’ll see two toggles: Offer to save passwords and
Auto sign-in. If you don’t want to turn the whole thing off, you can
also select sites that ignore auto sign-in. We think a much better solu-
tion would be to require biometric authentication every time a pass-
word is entered (which Apple does on the iPhone), so until that hap-
pens, you should switch it off if you’re paranoid.
Download a password manager
If you’re turning off Smart Lock, the only way to keep your passwords
safe and organized is to lock them up inside a password manager.
Stronger and more secure than the Smart Lock password sync Google
offers, a password manager encourages unique, complex passwords,
lets you organize and manage multiple logins, and stores sensitive
notes, credit card information, and anything else you want to keep in a
digital locker. And it’s all protected by a password or a fingerprint,
whichever you choose.
Since your password mananger is a separate service, you’ll be able to
access your passwords on any device or browser, so even if someone
steals your phone your most personal data will still be protected. And
with Android Oreo, you’ll even be able to incorporate some of them
into Autofill on your phone (fingerprint-protected, of course).
Our favorite password manager is LastPass, but there are plenty of
great options out there. You’ll need to pay an annual fee, but it’s worth
it. Check out PCWorld's guide to the best password managers for eve-
rything you need to know.
Use a VPN
No matter how many safeguards you add to your phone, it’s inherently
vulnerable every time you visit the web. Why? Because the informa-
tion you send can be stolen and spied on with little effort, especially if
you’re using a public Wi-Fi hotspot. If you use a VPN service, your
information is encrypted before it hits the airwaves, so your data is
fully protected from everybody except the VPN provider and whatever
website you're visiting. Even if someone manages to steal it, it’s pro-
There are numerous VPNs in the Play Store, so make sure you check
out the rankings and user reviews before making your pick. Our rec-
ommendation for starting out is TunnelBear, which is free and super
simple. If you’re looking for something more advanced, you can
download OpenVPN for Android and experiment with Mullvad, the
top PC pick in our roundup of the best VPN services.
Use an Authenticator app
We’ve already discussed how important 2-step verification is for your
Google account, but you should also be using it for any service that
offers it: Twitter, Facebook, Dropbox, etc. But if you want to take it
one step further, you can use an authenticator app to generate unique
codes right on your phone rather than sending them over SMS text
messages, which can be riskier. Google makes its own authenticator
app for your Google account and many other sites that’s free in the
Play Store, so we recommend checking it out.
Get a physical security key
If you want the ultimate protection for your accounts, nothing beats an
NFC security key. Roughly the size of a flash driven (so you can attach
it to a keychain) and completely phishing-proof, a security key dis-
penses with codes and stores all of your authentication on a physical
device. So it’s basically impossible to get into any of your accounts
without the key, even if someone manages to steal all of your pass-
words. The $50 Titan Security Key bundle (which includes USB and
Bluetoothsecurity keys) is a great option from Google, but there are
also less-expensive options from Yubico.
Enter Lockdown mode
If all else fails, Google has added a new Lockdown option to Android
9 that lets you completely secure your phone at a tap. Hold down the
power button for a second and you’ll see a Lockdown option at the
bottom of the list. (If you don’t, you can enable it in the Lock screen
settings.) Tap it and your phone will instantly lock, turn off the finger-
print scanner (so someone can’t force your finger to unlock it), remove
ell the big news in the ever dwindling Barang
community in Sinoukville is the closing and
swift demolition of the long-time Backpacker
behemoth the Monkey Republic. Its closure was
almost immediate after the announcement and the wreckers did
not waste any time in moving in.
That leave only the Big Easy in that part of beach road, one
wonders how long they will last, at least they are doing good
business due to a lack of competition. The Big Easy has begun
expanding its chain/empire with the recent opening of the Big
Easy on Kho Ron Sanleom which followed a relatively recent
opening of the very stylish Big Easy in the heart of the Phnom
Penh Backpacker Ghetto in street 172. Hot on the heels of the
Big Easy is the announcement by popular Sihanoukville eatery
Olive and Olive that they are planning to open a branch some-
where in Phnom Penh in the near future. Olive and Olive is one
of the few remaining Western restaurants in Sihanoukville.
Rumours are circulating that two of the Chinese Casinos have
found that they cannot make enough money in Sihanoukville
and are closing. If this is true, we are sure there will be plenty of
other operators willing to lease the space as the numbers of Casi-
nos seems to grow weekly. The Chinese invasion has been gain-
ing more publicity recently in the overseas main stream media
with even Al Jazzera running a piece. But the best piece on the
invasion of Sihanoukville came recently from a Chinese Blogger
looking at the invasion from the eyes of a Chinese national. The
blogger was none too complimentary about the quality of their
fellow nationals in the town, apparently the casino workers are
referred to as Spinach Dogs and the Chinese name for Sihanouk-
ville is Westport. It is a good idea to rename the town Westport
as little of Sihanoukville as people remember it remains.
The blogger may be right about the quality of the people because
there were the usual reports of brawls and kidnappings over un-
paid gambling loans/debts and arrests of Spinach Dogs by the
Cambodian Constabulary, (ably supported by the plain clothes
Chinese Police that appear to have a base in Westport) in the
news over the past month. It is believed that there could be as
many as 120,000 Chinese in Sihanoukville at the moment, which
given the continual traffic jams (that rival peak hour in Phnom
Penh) is believable.
The Chinese Navy are sending a few of their naval ships on a
visit to Cambodia to celebrate the opening of the new Cambo-
dian Naval Base on the seaward side of Kho Rong. The Chinese
have denied that they will establish a naval base in Cambodia,
but helping the poor Cambodian Navy does not count as estab-
lishing a base so it seems.
The good news is that construction of the 190km new express-
way between Phnom Penh and Sihanoukville is about to begin
soon with lots of workers and machinery having been delivered
from China. The cost is mooted at $1.9 billion that right
$1,900,000,000, which works out at a phenomenal $10,000 per
metre length of road. How this loan will be paid back is any
ones guess as is how much is being paid in facilitation fees.
The rubbish situation got so bad in Sinoukville that the Compe-
tent Authorities sent down 170 workers and 30 garbage trucks to
clean up the town. One electrical fire has been blamed on the
Garbage piled up around the transformer. Once they go it should
be back to situation normal as the new contractor does not have
the resources to cope with the population boom.
Things are so dire in Sihanoukville that one of the last Barang
hold outs, the Party cycle tours has even moved to Kampot and
the people behind it and are astounded that they now have cus-
tomers. These are not the only Bikers in Kampot, the Rebels
Motor Cycle Club appear to be opening up a chapter in Kampot
after most of their members fled Sihanoukville. Their new hang-
out is located near the Salt workers roundabout in the ex-
Sihanoukville ghetto near Salt and Bundy Bar. Another business
that has relocated from Westport to Kampot is the popular Top
Cat Cinema which opened around the time Ecran Movie House
near the river closed it’s cinema after being unable to sell the
business or lease for their desired amount.
Speaking of the Bundy Bar, old Kevin apparently never go
around to running the book on how long affable Dave-Ex would
last at running the aptly named Bogan Villas in Kep that we
referenced in last month’s Bits. Too late, it was a bit under three
weeks, Dave can now be seen back in Kampot.
One of Dave-Ex’s former places of employment has also
changed hands recently. The Walkabout Bar (and some say boat
in rainy season due to road flooding) has been sold with the now
former owner back in Australia licking his financial wounds.
The bar is briefly closed but should be reopened in early Febru-
ary apparently as the Raging Bull Sports Bar, which will be an
air-conditioned sports bar with outdoor beer garden.
There seems to have been some happenings in the poker com-
munity in Kampot, with the game at the Durian Sports bar being
forced to move due to personality issues. The game has finally
moved to its own premises, but how long it will last remains to
be seen as it is rumoured that another operator is eying up the
Westerners seem to be increasingly keen to leave this world here
in Kampot with the number of Western deaths increasing mark-
edly. So much so that it prompted a Doctor who formerly
worked in the town last century to issue a warning to Western-
ers, he seem to believe that it is energy drinks that is the cause.
Whilst that could be true, we believe it is just due to the massive
increase in the numbers of Expats that now reside in town since
Sihanoukville became Westportand the subsequent increase in
numbers (and decrease in quality) of tourists. Sihanoukville was
number two behind Phnom Penh for western deaths for years,
now it looks like Kampot has claimed that spot. So to those
older Kampotians that dislike the influx of Sinoukville refugees,
you should be grateful that Kampot is now being put on the
death map.
Not all Westerners leave Kampot by death, recently (we forgot
to include it last month)a well-known British writer who wanted
to move, but was hampered by a lack of funds to pay for a 3 year
overstay, handed himself into the immigration authorities. It got
him out of paying the fine and out of the country. Recently it
was reported that immigration were making the rounds of some
businesses in Kampot checking on peoples visas and there were
more than a few nervous people in town as a result.
Still they were able to drown their sorrows in with one of the
increasing choices of craft beers that are available in Kampot
town. Flowers Nano Brewery makes a variety of different craft
beer on premises, with the selection changing regularly. Razor
Back BBQ (for sale, down from $40,000 to $29,000) and Stum-
ble Inn both stock a selection of craft beers imported from Viet-
nam. The food and beverage scene in Kampot just keeps getting
bigger and better, no wonder Dave-Ex could not wait to come