even the tiny ones which cost thousands… so I’m still half deaf
after all these years. Today you can get them as low as $30, but
they’re big, lunky and not programmable.
It’s somewhat counterintuitive but the weaker your ears are the
more sensitive they become. You’d think you can’t hear well so
loud sounds wouldn’t make a difference, but it’s just the opposite.
It’s mostly an unrestrained treble that gets to me, that loud dis-
torted high range that made me jump out of my seat at the event. It
feels like my ears are being chiseled out by a chain saw. Okay, it
was nowhere near to that level at the event, but still enough to
make it impossible to sit there without protection.
The first band at the event was loud, but tolerably so. Occasionally
it could get borderline painful, but mostly I could handle it. The
third band was too loud, enough for me to need my plugs, but not
excruciatingly so. It was more pure intensity. I’ve also found that
in a couple different dance venues in town where the intensity of
sound was very difficult for me. In those cases even regulation
plugs couldn’t do the job. However, I do recognize that high vol-
ume can help you to get immersed in the sound, it becomes part of
you, but still after a certain point all it does is damage your ears.
While it may seem no big deal when you’re young, you sure do
regret it when the damage accumulates and at a ripe old age you
are constantly saying, What’d you say?
It’s possible for music to be not loud and still be moving and en-
joyable. The example is a long time music bar in Portland, Oregon
the last place I lived any length of time
in the US. They have music every night,
but it’s in a residential neighborhood, or
at least has residences very close by, so
the tunes are not loud because they were
forced to tone it down, and yet people
were dancing and singing along and hav-
ing a great time.
It was a very big contrast to most bands
around here who can’t resist some ear-
drum bending in their music. And if any-
thing Cambodians are worse than expats
on that score. I’m seriously remiss if I
forget to bring my earplugs to an event.
At an expat friend’s wedding out in the
country I asked him to ask the band to
tone it down; they felt insulted.
One time when I’d been here only a cou-
ple years a tent was set up on my narrow
street with the loudspeaker turned up to
full volume facing directly at my 3
floor apartment. It was just a couple me-
ters away and it was excruciating. My
response was to put my boombox out on
the porch facing the tent and put on a
Hendrix CD at full distorted volume.
They got the message and turned the
speaker away from my place. It was still
very loud, but I relented and turned off the box, figuring I should-
n’t be totally antagonizing my neighbors. I was new to Cambodia
then, I wouldn’t do something like that now and to help matters,
they now often have the volume turned down some. What a relief.
I still need my plugs, but at least it doesn’t feel like I’m being tor-
One other aspect of sound I’d like to mention. I love those over-
head ceiling fans; even at low speeds they move a lot more air,
more gently and quietly than the smaller fans, but at top speed the
sound is very disturbing, it’s a low rumble that’s very uncomfort-
able and makes it hard for me to hear.
There are actually two topics I’m covering in this piece, the other
I was listening to bands at the Folk Arts Festival which came to
town at the beginning of February with a whole lineup of music
acts. They came on a tour of several cities with a mixture of local
and expat acts. A tent was set up at KAMA bar/restaurant and
somewhere between 100 and 150 people showed up. As usual a
good time was had by all: young, old, of many nationalities.
Gatherings are one of the major draws of living here; getting to-
gether to have fun and maybe drink a little alcohol.
When the lead of the second band took the mic for his intro his
first word caused me to jump out of my seat, you could say I was
catapulted actually, and seek refuge from the blast and I wasn’t
even that close. I didn’t want to abandon the event so I walked a
couple blocks to my car where I conveniently stash a couple of
regulation ear plugs. After that I could actually enjoy the music,
though of course the plugs made it doubly difficult to converse.
I’ve mostly given up on talking much anyway when the music’s
turned up. I can manage when you’re speaking directly at me
with some force, you know, not mumbling out of the side of your
mouth, otherwise it’s all gibberish. He’s freeze trading toe sad
elease… It’s frustrating to say the least… but for lack of an alter-
native I’ve gotten used to it. I’m like the typical Khmer who
knows a bit of English and just smiles and nods when you start
conversing with big words on complex themes. I might ask you
to repeat if I don’t get it the first time, but if I still can’t figure it
out, I won’t ask a second time, it’s the old smile and nod routine.
I’m confident that nearly all the
people reading this will admit to
torturing their ears as some point.
Ear damage is very common, espe-
cially as we age, but we’re incredi-
bly casual and nonchalant about
protecting ourselves. In addition to
the loud music we’ve all enjoyed,
in some ways subjected ourselves
to, I beat up my ears with indus-
trial sounds as part of the years I
spent recycling. For instance, in
order to sell our glass it had to be
crushed, otherwise it would’ve
taken up too much space. So I’d
stand there with a steel pipe crush-
ing bottles and jars in a large steel
drum. It’s almost kinda fun smash-
ing up that glass, but it’s also very
loud and what’s more it’s that es-
pecially destructive high pitched
loud. It was only after years of
doing that that I realized, with the
urging of a coworker, that I needed
to be wearing plugs.
Once the damage is done, there’s
no going back. You can’t heal your
ear drums any more than you can
grow new adult teeth. The only alternative to being half deaf is
hearing aids. The last time I was back in the states about 5 years
ago I came across a flyer advertising a free hearing exam: the real
thing taken in a sound proof room. One of my goals being back
there was improving my hearing.
It turns out it’s the treble that generally goes first and that was
true of my hearing. They’ve got aids that are programmable so
they can increase the sound exactly where you need it in each ear.
You don’t want every range to be louder, that might be worse.
It’s only the vocal range that’s important
It was great, but it turned out they weren’t cheap, at least not
then. The guy offered me a used pair for $600 and they weren’t
or repair of sidewalks to conform to the new code so that eventu-
ally they can get back to some rationality and usability.
There’s another problem with design of sidewalks that needs to be
addressed to conform to the stroller rule. It has to do with the con-
fusion over the difference between curb cuts and driveways. Curb
cuts need to be restricted to actual streets. Driveways are for ac-
cessing properties in between streets, thus they have a steep slant
at the curb which takes them to sidewalk level, whereas curb cuts
force the stroller to go up and down. You find midblock curb cuts
at public buildings and large private buildings. They enable the
vehicle to go fast and easy into the property, whereas you want a
driveway with it’s steeply slanted entryway precisely because it
slows down traffic across the sidewalk making it safer for pedestri-
It’s important to note that having people walking in the street is
not just dangerous and uncomfortable for them but nerve-wracking
for drivers as well.
A similar situation has risen in Kampot. I was very surprised,
nearly shocked a while back to see the riverside park nearly clear
for pedestrian use. It had been regularly usurped for vehicle park-
ing to the extent that it was very difficult in places to get through.
Looking closer I saw no parking signs in both English and Khmer.
I was impressed. For sure there were a few scofflaws, but gener-
ally it was very nice. That didn’t last long since authorities regu-
larly make rules and then retreat and ignore enforcement. In fact,
right next to the new police post on the riverside you’ll see the
same car parked every night, obviously a cop’s private car. Having
the riverside promenade restricted or blocked from walking isn’t
the only problem with letting drivers park there. Those vehicles,
including sometimes big hunky SUVs, are harmful to the tree roots
and tear up the paving tiles since the pavement isn’t up to handling
heavy vehicles.
They are catching on: in one block on the river, probably the busi-
est, they’ve forced restaurants to keep a meter and a half clear for
walking. Before, one restaurant, which had more than ample space
for their tables, had a big sign practically blocking pedestrians.
Still, some owners insist on letting people park their motorbikes in
that restricted space so it isn’t a complete win for the people. One
aspect they haven’t been consistent at is keeping the sidewalk
around the old market clear. Some vendors have moved their ta-
bles and such back, but many haven’t. Of all places important for
keeping clear that one should be a no brainer. The streets around
the market get very busy so it’s not good having people walking
on them, besides there are always some cowboys racing down the
streets just to show off making for a dangerous situation.
As in Phnom Penh, a sidewalk code needs to be established so that
all new construction and reconstruction conforms to a standard
which can be universally applied later. Cambostan
being banning of tents on Phnom Penh’s streets combined with
prohibition of car parking on Kampot’s riverside park and side-
walks in general. Sidewalks have always been one of my favorite
topics owing partly to the fact that I did almost all of my move-
ment on foot during the six years I lived in the capital. And that
was owing in part to not liking riding on motorbikes and having
to hassle over the fare with motodops motorbike taxi drivers.
Having studied urban planning I’m also keenly aware of how
cities could and should be designed.
The ban on event tents in Phnom Penh will be very welcome if
it’s carried out and enforced. but it will come as a hardship to
many. First a little background. Traditional Khmer weddings are
often two day events and funerals can be multiday events. Thus
it’s important for participants that they be held at a residence
rather than an event hall. For a wedding they’ll start at 6am or
before on the first day. In fact, they’ll start blasting out their wed-
ding music sometimes as early as 4.30am. If you are around very
early, you’ll see just a few family members in attendance as
meanwhile possibly hundreds of neighbors find themselves
rudely awakened. They’ll have a small luncheon and then a big
dinner followed by dancing till about 11pm. During that time the
music goes on almost continuously. They then wake up really
early again next morning and go on till about 11am.
The city is suggesting event halls or pagodas, but family
members sleep over so it’s not easy to do outside the
They’ll often block half a busy street or the whole street
if it’s a lightly used side street. That might have been
tolerable when the city was a lot smaller and traffic was
light but absurd now to allow those events to cause traf-
fic jams. The city is now so dense, even blocking resi-
dential streets can cause a lot of frustration to people
who have to make long detours.
They are also improving some sidewalks and saying
they want to clear all of them for pedestrians. It’s a
great idea except many sidewalks are now practically
unusable for walking even if there were no encum-
brances on them like vehicle parking, vendors and res-
taurant tables.
Back in the sixties before Cambodia’s troubles, no en-
cumbrances were allowed, all sidewalks were kept clear
and that can be seen in any streetside picture from that
era. When Vietnam kicked out Pol Pot in 1979 and oc-
cupied the country for 14 years a free-for-all ensued. When I was
in Vietnam’s big cities in 1994, the sidewalks were completely
taken over for private use. It’s thus easy to infer that it was that
country’s lax attitude towards sidewalk use that led to the current
situation. That problem was further compounded by the lack of
any building codes regarding sidewalks. In the past they were all
at the same level and flat, once again obvious from photos from
that era. Today property owners treat sidewalks as private decora-
tion for their property rather than an essential mode of transporta-
tion and they have free reign to do what they like.
As a result you now have some places where sidewalks are
steeply slanted making walking very uncomfortable and others
where each property owner has a piece of sidewalk that doesn’t
match their neighbors; i.e., one will be higher than the others -
there are places where one sidewalk will be a foot, 30cm different
from adjacent ones and another will be steeply slanted when the
others surrounding it are flat.
In other words, in many places they are currently so ill set up and
uncomfortable for walking that clearing them of blockages will
make no difference for pedestrians, they will still be walking on
the street. Sidewalks have to be convenient for wheeled devices;
i.e., flat and all on the same level. Call it the baby stroller or hand
truck rule.
They are now such a jumbly hodgepodge that nothing in the short
run will fix the problem. At this point planners need to establish
the proper height for each street and require all new construction
“We expect her back to work as normal on Monday.”
Although her family burrow is in the village of Sonning near
Maidenhead, she uses a specially constructed burrow in the
grounds of Downing Street for personal biological renewal during
times of national crisis.
“The Prime Minister is a peculiar creature,” confirmed biologist
Simon Williams.
“We don’t know exactly how or when it would have developed the
process of sloughing off skin for summer, we just know that, what-
ever creature Theresa May is, at some point during its evolution, it
took a different path to that of humans and became more adapt-
The Number 10 burrow has been surprisingly well-used of late,
with David Cameron using it to groom himself and his wife, and
Tony Blair using it to mate.
James Bond to face conse-
quences of years of sleeping
around in upcoming film
The working title of the
twenty-fifth film in the Bond
franchise has been revealed,
and it says a lot about the titu-
lar character’s ongoing sex
‘ItchyCock’ will be released
next year, and will be the last
film to feature Daniel Craig as
the famous spy and lothario.
Senior producer Cubby Wil-
liams told reporters, “Yes, we
are a bit disappointed that the
title of Bond 25 has been
leaked, but it shouldn’t really
be much of a surprise to any-
“The famously condom-free
James Bond has been having
unprotected intercourse with
multiple women all over the
world for decades now, so it is
no wonder that venereal dis-
ease was going to strike him
down at some point.”
He continued, “The film will
contain all the action and sus-
pense sequences of the other
movies, interspersed with
James popping along to see
his GP to pick up some steroid
cream for his pus-riddled
groin area.”
Bond fan Christopher James
responded, “Well it is a bit of an unusual title, but it’s a lot better
than Quantum of Solace.
“I’ve still no clue what that even means.”
The 10 Commandments As Rewritten by ISIS.
What might be surprising to many, is that the Muslim religion ac-
tually considers the Bible to be a Holy book and a source of proph-
ecy. However, the more extreme elements of Mohammedanism
have rewritten certain famous aspects of the Old Testament to bet-
ter reflect their version of Islam. For instance, take a look at how
they commandeered the 10 Commandments-
The Ten Commandment as originally written in the Bible:
I am the Lord thy god.
Pope Admits Catholic Church Is Now Like Something Out
Of A Marquis de Sade Novel
Pope Francis has admitted that there have been "grave errors" in
the administration of affairs within the Catholic church down the
years, and that, at times, things have resembled erotic scenarios
and events such as the public might have read about in a Mar-
quis de Sade novel.
For example, 'Justine'.
Or in 'Venus In Furs' by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch.
Or 'Delta In Venus' by Anaïs Nin
You get the idea.
"Indeed," said the Pope, "we might also add to that list of filth,
the Solomon Northup novel, 'Twelve Years A Slave', when dis-
cussing how the church has treated its nuns."
His pathetic papalness spoke of the
obscene acts of degradation visited
upon members of its ranks down the
centuries, cloistered away from the
eyes of a hungry public who would
have loved the opportunity to have
joined in.
He winked, and said:
"We're working on it."
Liam Neeson To Star In "Men In
Black...Bastards..." Spin-Off
LIAM NEESON is back on familiar
ground in the first trailer for "Men in
Black...Bastards..." the upcoming
film about a Tourettes-suffering Irish
actor working in Hollywood but un-
able to pull off a convincing Ameri-
can accent while auditioning for a
role in a movie about aliens.
Anyone who has seen a Men in
Black movie knows the drill by now:
black suits, shades, cool weaponry,
and some rather bad acting.
Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thomp-
son are taking on the central roles as
the actors who are cast as suit-
wearing alien protectors, who have
to deal with Neeson's poor acting and
horrific affliction.
But it’s Neeson who is the big draw.
Much of the action appears to take
place during rehearsals; where
Neeson's co-star's struggle with not
only his Tourettes-fuelled outbursts,
but also his insistence that his char-
acter (who is from Texas) speaks
with a West Belfast accent.
Theresa May to retreat to burrow
to slough off winter skin
With snowdrops appearing on the ground and a pleasant warmth
in the air, it can only mean that Spring has arrived and the time
has come for Theresa May to retreat to her burrow and slough
off her winter skin.
The Prime Minister develops a thicker, more resilient hide dur-
ing November time to provide protection during the winter
months. In summer, she will have a thinner, cooler, more trans-
lucent skin.
“We expect the PM to return to her burrow following parliamen-
tary business on Friday,” confirmed a number 10 spokesperson.
“The sloughing process will take about a day, and then there will
be a day to develop her summer skin.
The show, which was axed in 1978 due to changing attitudes to
racial stereotyping, initially continued to tour at theatres until
1989, but, since then, all memories of it had been buried at the
bottom of a mineshaft in a place far blacker than anything make-
up artists could muster for the male performers.
Now, however, with the pendulum of public opinion having swung
back towards toleration of 'all kinds of thinking', the broadcaster
has decided to 'dust-off' its archive film, and to give re-runs to the
shows that had audiences chuckling aplenty in the 50s, 60s, and
A new series is also in production.
Lenny Henry, the Black Country comedian who got his 'big break'
into showbusiness by appearing in the show in 1975, now regrets
having done so. It didn't do his bank balance any harm, though.
The white person’s guide to pretending you’re a victim of ra-
ARE you a right-wing bellend who thinks racism against white
people is a genuine problem? Here’s how to enjoy a pleasing sense
of victimhood.
Claim your culture is under threat
Vehemently claim ‘your culture’ is under threat, then when
pressed for examples only manage to come up with random things
like cricket, tea and the royal family that
are about as threatened as Tyson Fury in
a fight with Jacob Rees-Mogg.
Use an incredibly strange definition of
Basically: ‘people disagreeing with you’,
even though you constantly spout bon-
kers patriotic nonsense any sane person
would balk at, especially when you seem
to think it’s still 1941.
On a practical level, what you call
‘racism’ is usually someone arguing with
you on the internet. This is good, be-
cause real racism like job discrimination
and people shouting abuse would take all
the fun out of being a victim.
Don’t forget Brexit
Criticising Brexit is racial prejudice
against white Britons because they all
support it, except they don’t, and the EU
hates Britain, except that’s clearly bol-
locks. Apart from those minor points the
logic is fine.
Feel aggrieved by extremely hypothetical situations
For example, convince yourself you could never be a BBC news-
reader because you’re not an ethnic minority. Ignore the fact that
you’re in no way qualified, have never shown any interest in a
career in journalism and think the BBC should be blown up any-
Make up your own reality
Is the roughly 82% ‘white British’ population of Britain likely to
die out? Yes. Are the ‘thought police’ likely to boot in your door at
3am? Yes. With a bit of imagination you can enjoy being the vic-
tim of racism every day!
1.- Ye shall have no other gods before me.
2.- Ye shall have no other graven images or likenesses.
3.- Ye shall not take the Lord's name in vain.
4.- Remember the Sabbath Day.
5.- Honor thy father and thy mother.
6.-Thou shalt not kill.
7.- Thou shalt not commit adultery.
8.- Thou shalt not steal.
9.- Thou shalt not bear false witness (lie).
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors belongings.
The Ten Commandments as re-written by ISIS:
We are the Lords over you whether you like it or not.
1.- No other gods- we will slay them and you.
2.- No graven images or likenesses- we need to loot these to sell
to collectors.
3- Do not take the Lord's name in vain, or ours for that matter.
Unless you like having your tongue cut out, of course.
4.-Remember the Sabbath day- We won't be working that day but
you have to since you are now our slaves.
5.- Honor thy father and thy mother- even if we did execute them.
6.- Thou shalt not kill us. But we can kill whoever we damn well
please because we are holy men.
7.- You cannot commit adultery, but we will rape your sister in
the name of Allah.
8.- Thou shalt not steal, but we
need to finance our terrorism so for
us it is OK.
9.-Thou shalt not bear false witness
(lie), but the only lie we do is be-
lieving we are doing the will of
10.- Thou shalt not covet whatever
you want but it is OK for us to steal
because we are the chosen Ones
and all else are infidels, even the
Muslims who fight against us.
Therefore it is OK for us to take
anything we want.
“Don’t you f*cking dare” Hillary
Clinton told
Hillary Clinton has been told not to
announce a new Presidential run in
2020 by absolutely everybody.
Following the announcement that
Bernie Sanders is going to have
another stab at the Presidency, several prominent Democrats im-
mediately knocked on Hillary’s door to scream “NO” into her
“NO”, confirmed prominent Democrat, Chuck Williams.
“She’s very good, very capable, very qualified, but just no. She
lost to DONALD TRUMP, for God’s sake. Anybody else with a
modicum more likability would have won that election easily.
But no, the ship has sailed. Write another book, if you like.
That’s fine, but enough of the President stuff. Stop it. Don’t go
near that podium in your garden.”
A spokesperson for the Clintons said, “Hillary is obviously disap-
pointed to have been tied to a chair with a sock stuffed in her
mouth to prevent her from announcing her candidacy.
“Bill pretended to be just as upset, but was in the car and off to
shag someone else’s wife within about ten minutes. But that’s
just lovable old Bill.”
Black And White Minstrel Show To Make Comeback!
The Black and White Minstrel Show, the popular 'blackface' song
and dance extravaganza broadcast on BBC television for 20
years, is to astound viewers once more, by making a comeback to
the small screen this spring.
Before I begin, I want to thank the Evil Publisher for once again
kindly granted me a short extension but he must have been
concerned about losing his title as he expressly noted the forth-
coming torture and worse if I did not produce an article today.
One more note I have lived here a long time and seen quite a
bit but I think the dumb ass foreigner award now goes to the
turdhead backpackers I saw longboarding in the middle of the
night against traffic on 51 St. despite
repeatedly falling off the board into
oncoming cars and motos. I found
myself feeling sorry for the poor
Khmers who might have their bike
wrecked or get injured trying not to
Darwin these rejects from the special
bus. Lesson don’t hit the pubs hard
unless you are a seasoned investigative
journalist or at least start with some
active braincells and if you are this
kind of stupid, perhaps you should
reconsider leaving your house, let
alone exporting your idiocy to other
countries. BTW I checked they were
not filming a new episode of Jackass
I actually made it to Bassac Lane but
to be honest, I did not do the pub crawl
I have been contemplating I went for
a meal as I heard I could get some
Eastern European comfort food at a
place called Jungle Cat food was
great, but they made the Pub Page be-
cause the booze was pretty good too.
The shots were USD 2-2.5, beers were
$1 for a draft and $1.25 for a can. The
highlight for me was the moonshine
(which I can’t pronounce in Ukrainian,
but that is what it says on the English
menu). It is $1.5 a shot straight or with
one of horseradish, honey or herbs tasted like Vodka to me and
I liked it. They also sell it by the liter.
GSM update: more bars along 51 St. and I finally dropped by J
Spot across the street from GSM between Howie’s and Heart.
Nice little place has a pool table and most of the seating is
outside so you can watch the circus of the damned that is GSM.
J Spot is open from 3 pm to 3 am with a $.75 a draft happy hour
special that goes from opening until 10 pm - ignore the menu
that says happy hour does not start until 6 pm. Cambodia, Ang-
kor and Beer Lao bottles are USD 2, Cambodia, Angkor and
Anchor cans are $1 and Heineken cans are $1.5. Spirits are $2-3
and cocktails are $3-4. Overall, another good alternative in the
GSM area and frequently busy at night so they are doing some-
thing right.
Walking around over the last month or so, I have noticed that the
king of 172 St. seems to be Big Easy. It is often busy by mid aft
and is usually busy until the wee hours. Nice airy place with a
range of seating options I have been enjoying sitting al fresco.
Stellas are USD 3 and Strongbows are $2.5 or 3 for $6. They
have a split happy hour from 5-8 p.m., draft beers are .75 and
jugs are $2.5 with house spirts and wine at $1.5. From 8-10
p.m., cocktails are two for one. Normally, drafts are $1 a glass,
$3.5 a jug and $12 a tower (with some kind of odd free cloth-
ing). Local bottles are $1.5 and imports are $2.75-3.5. House
whisky is $1.5 a glass or $4 a bucket and other house spirits are
$2 a glass and $6 a bucket; the good stuff is $3 a glass. Based on
my limited experience there, it seems like most of the customers (or
at least the loudest) are just passing through, but if you are in the
area, it is a good spot for some reasonably priced lubrication.
Of course, I dropped by Sharkys a few times, not a lot to report but
they did move one of the pool tables to the front. Not sure I am a
fan but in exchange they added a spin wheel for anyone who spends
at least USD 10 on a round to get a
chance for a free drink. I was actu-
ally really impressed that they posted
the Joker rules on their website
saves me from having to try to re-
member what each card wins. I don’t
think I mentioned their Monday night
blues last time special drink is USD
2.5 for a Jim Bean and Coke.
Quick hostess round up - 69 Bar on
136 St. has been a bit mixed in terms
of customers when I drop by lately
volume remains too loud regardless
of the number of customers staff is
usually friendly and the larger ta-
bles in the back are a nice option
compared to many hostess barsI am
told the crowd picks up after I leave
(no real surprise there I guess).
Honey Pot on 130 St. still one of
my favourites on this stretch of road,
good friendly service, music usually
good (often a more eclectic mix than
most of the bars). They seemed
really happy to have Carlsberg draft
on tap for USD 1.75 funny I would
never think that customers come run-
ning into hostess bars for 7000 KHR
glasses of beer but what do I know.
Also dropped by Sensations on 130
St. for the first time in a while really glad I did as they had some
kind of qipao themed night I thought they were trying to be gei-
shas at first but was quickly corrected. Music was good. I some-
times forget about the pool table in the back a lot more room to
play than many of the bars. Daily specials: Sunday free draft
with a lady drink; Saturday USD 1 for tequila; Friday USD 2
for Cambodia bottles; Thursday USD 2.75 for Craft beers;
Wednesday USD 1 off each whiskey shot; and Monday buy 2
get 1 for free on beers, spirits and wine. I forgot to ask but I guess
Tuesday is not very special here
Wandered into a newly named Avi bar across from Sensations as
well small fairly dark space but felt open regardless. Staff was
friendly. Angkor draft was USD 1.5 a glass or 7 a jug; Cambodia,
Anchor and Angkor cans are $2 and Klang cans are $1.5 Most of
their bottle beers are $4. Most spirits are $3 with a few ranging up
from there it is a mixer plus bar unfortunately. They have Park-
ers whiskey shots at $3.5 buy 2 get 1 free every night and on Mon-
days any whiskey shot is buy 2, get one free.
Hit Mao’s on Sisowath a few times for the first time in way too
long. I really like this place, but I just don’t seem to make it up-
stairs as much as I should. Still the best whiskey selection that I
know of in PP. A great range of tastes and prices. A number are
only available by the bottle which makes it a bit difficult for me
since I don’t drop by enough, but I am sure some of you more hard-
core imbibers can make it work.
drugs were found and
one firearm.
The club apparently
belongs to to Oknha
Kith Thieng, brother
of tycoon Kith Meng
of the Royal Group.
Over two hundred
people were released a
day later with fifty
four being detained.
The Rock has a long
history of drugs and
shootings. Unfortu-
natly a fire the other
year didn’t burn the
place to the ground.
No word on any im-
portant suspects being
held but local rumours
One has a large
amount being ex-
Volume 05 Issue 10 Thursday March 1 2019 0000 Riel
No Park-
ing on
In another drive to free up
Phnom Penh’s streets, the
municipality has issued an
order to remove any cars
parked on the pavement
along Norodom Blvd.
This will then spread to-
wards the riverfront. Motor-
bikes will also be removed.
Local wags wonder where
they have an impound lot
large enough.
It seems the authorities have
thought as far ahead as their
own noses (as usual).
Where will everyone in that
area park their vehicles?
Roads are already packed
with vehicles and some civil
unrest could be possible as
the dweebs in uniform en-
changed so the back-
door exit could be
Another has it a cer-
tain drug boss or
group didn’t pay their
monthly tea money so
the raid was arranged
as a lesson. The truth
is probably weirder
than those two theo-
Judging by the
amount of drugs
seized and the appear-
ance of several twenty
five litre containers in
the photos. This was a
well organized opera-
People always walk
into a KTV with
25litre containers but
the managers didn’t
About Cambodia
Report: Phnom Penh to
grind to a halt for
ten days due to
Khmer New Year
Page 17
When reading this
Khmers will be
dressed for deep
winter Page 17
Irish loony arrested for
smashing up his own
Page 17
Work permit fees sky-
rocket as the service
goes to private sec-
tor Page 17
This is a work of fiction and satire any semblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental
Illegal drugs rock!
Tent ban not yet enforced but some green traffic lights led to a wedding
party crasher. Details are sketchy but the driver is not believed to be a
drunk chinaman!
In a very high profile
raid, cops knocked on
the Rock Nightclubs
door and arrested over
three hundred people.
Over fifty kilos of
Nice to see load safety
being enforced!
as is the late murdered Saudi Arabian dissident journalist,
Jamal Khashoggi, or, indeed, former 'Hawaii- Five-O' police
chief, Detective Steve McGarrett, played by Jack Lord. Or,
indeed, Chemical Ali. It's that bad.
The only interesting fact not yet reported about Jussie
Smollett is that the letters of his name can be rearranged ana-
grammatically into Mollest Justise.
So much for trying to create a bit of publicity for yourself.
Don’t Worry About Missing Sex Files, Pope Is Told, Bob
Mueller Has A Copy
Rome, Italy - (Reuters): “Phew, Your Eminence,” the Pontifical
Attorney for the Holy Spanish Inquisition said today as a Vatican
conference on sex abuse ‘laughed itself silly’ on hearing the
Pope’s predecessors had systematically destroyed abuse archives
featuring two thousand years
of pervy stuff.
All in the name of the Holy
Mutha Church.
Held in the Vatican’s iconic
Hellfire Temple Mausoleum,
the week-long seminar exam-
ined how millions of catlick
predators had been unleashed
on the world in a deal bro-
kered by the Illuminati follow-
ing the 1952 death of Hitler’s
“Documents examined by our
own Orifice for the Verifica-
tion of Online Miracles con-
firm the dastardly calumny,”
the Spoof’s Special ProNuncio
commented about the cover-
No one ever expected there could be so much crap.
Vice-President Mike Pence's Office Denies He is Comic's
Missing Ventriloquist's Dummy
A former convict just returning to society and ready to resume his
regular job as a ventriloquist, made an astonishing discovery. It
seems the special ventriloquist dummy he had was stolen from
his storage locker!
Imagine his surprise when, catching up on current events, he
spots his missing dummy standing right behind the president of
the United States during the
State of the Union address!
The convict who spotted his
dummy, who so far wishes to
remain anonymous, has filed
a restraining order against
President Trump and his ad-
ministration from further
using his dummy until said
time that he can retrieve it.
No-deal Brexit will mean
only three flavours of crisps
A NO-DEAL Brexit will
mean that Britain’s only crisp
flavours will be ready salted,
salt ’n’ vinegar and cheese
’n’ onion, manufacturers
have confirmed.
From March 29th, unless an
agreement is passed by par-
liament, fundamentally un-British crisp flavours like maple ba-
con, barbecue and jerk chicken will leave supermarket shelves
Climbing Equipment Shops Now Opening On Mexican Bor-
Several shops selling climbing equipment have opened in close
proximity to the US/Mexico border.
The shops are small units,
but are well-stocked with a
variety of professional climb-
ing attire and tools. Amongst
other items, the outlets offer
specialist ropes, grappling
hooks, climbing clips, light-
weight harnesses, padded
waist belts, leg loops, hel-
mets, shoes, and gloves.
Camping equipment, such as
tents, pegs, waterproof sheet-
ing and gas stoves are also
Some shops are also selling
sturdy extendable ladders.
One shop even has a portable
trampoline for hire.
Other dealers in the region
are offering digging equip-
ment for sale, such as shovels
and spades.
A report from the El Paso area claims that a giant catapult has
been sited 50 meters from the border on the Mexico side, but this
is, as yet, unconfirmed.
Jussie Smollett No Longer A Newsworthy Item
Jussie Smollett, who was once a high-salary earner whilst acting
in TV show 'Empire' before his career took a nosedive due to his
color-blindness, is no longer a newsworthy item, and will be
dropped from pub-
lic perception
Smollett was in-
volved in a hoax
hate crime incident
recently, but, his
having been ex-
posed, that's all
over now, and the
and his reputation
have been dis-
patched on a one-
way trip to Obliv-
The news that
Smollett has be-
come inconsequen-
tial and obscure
reached us earlier this evening, and a perfectly good made-up tale
involving Smollett and the Ku Klux Klan had to be scrapped, due
to a distinct lack of public interest.
Mr. Smollett is now as much in the minds of average Americans
Brexit secretary Stephen Barclay said: “And good bloody rid-
“We’re not against progress plans are in place to introduce beef
crisps within two years and prawn cocktail by 2025 but there’s
too much of this European filth clogging our newsagents.
“You know what I saw the other day? ‘Chilli’ crisps. Chilli. How
can they be real? No wonder people are saying bad things about
“And let me add that the salt ’n’ vinegar crisps will once again be
in a blue packet, and cheese ’n’ onion restored to their rightful
green. God save the Queen. As you were.”
Following the announcement Theresa May denied that Britain
will be reduced to just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice-
cream after a no-deal Brexit, because there will also be Neapoli-
Tories regret joining party full of horrible bastards
THE bitter infighting over Europe has led Conservatives to ques-
tion whether it was a good idea to join a party known for being
horrible to people.
After decades of animosity, some have realised there is a down-
side to being in a party full of arrogant bastards who enjoy seeing
others suffer.
Tory member Julian Cook said: “The last thing I expected was
for Tories to be nasty to me because I’m not in one of our ap-
proved hate groups like ‘hopeless dole twat’ or ‘up-themselves
“Unfortunately we’re split into Tories who hate foreigners and
Tories who hate foreigners but realise we’ll lose our jobs if we
totally screw the economy.
“Sometimes I think I should have joined the Labour party. When
they fall out they just do this passive-aggressive thing where they
make each other attend really boring committee meetings.”
Tory MP Donna Sheridan said: “Personal abuse is never accept-
able unless it’s calling Corbyn a ‘stinky old tramp man’ or some-
thing clever and hilarious like that.
“Sometimes it’s hard to believe we’re the same party that pro-
duced lovely, warm people like Margaret Thatcher, Enoch Pow-
ell and all the ones who wanted to hang Nelson Mandela.”
Man who can’t stop talking shite clearly ideal for important
BORIS Johnson’s incessant flow of bullshit is perfect for Brexit
negotiations, it has been claimed.
The government is sure Johnson will not only entertain everyone
during long meetings, but also help secure a good deal by re-
minding foreigners the British are superior.
Brexit minister David Davis said: “Boris livens up meetings by
saying hilarious yet tactful stuff like ‘No need for Gestapo tac-
tics, Angela!’
“Cowardly Italians, sexy Scandinavians, oversexed Frenchmen
the zingers just keep coming. Also he really knows his history so
he can effortlessly throw in a joke about Agincourt or Waterloo.
“Once he ran around for 12 minutes pretending to be a Lancaster
bomber attacking Dresden.
“The war jokes will remind them Britain always wins so they
may as well give in. There’s no way they’ll just get pissed off
and stick massive tariffs on everything.”
Johnson said: “I’m looking forward to hammering out a deal with
the EU with lots of jibes about ‘collaborating’ and ‘blitzing it’,
plus some other remarks about things like ‘soggy biscuit’ that
only make sense if you attended a British public school.
“It definitely doesn’t make me look like some insufferable sixth-
form twat who thinks he’s being desperately edgy.”
wireless charging pad. The XR has wireless charging too so it can bor-
row some juice from the S10e—but it can’t return the favor.
You can turn your Galaxy S10e into a wireless charger with a tap.
The S10e’s base configuration has twice as much storage
Apple thankfully stopped forcing us to make do with 16GB of space
years ago, and the entry-level XR has a respectable 64GB of storage,
with an extra $50 getting you all the way up to 128GB of storage. Sam-
sung offers 128GB in the cheapest S10e configuration, along with a
slot for an SD card.
4 ways the the iPhone XR beats the Galaxy S10e
The S10e has a weird fingerprint sensor and no Face ID clone
The S10 and S10+ have a next-generation ultrasonic fingerprint sensor
that uses sound to read the ridge patterns, but you won’t find it on the
S10e. Instead, Samsung’s newest phone has a fingerprint sensor built
into the side power button, a dubious innovation we thought was long
gone. And none of Samsung’s phones have a way to emulate Face ID,
which is built into the XR’s notch.
The iPhone XR’s notch is better
than a hole in the screen.
The S10e has thicker bezels and a
hole in the screen
The iPhone XR picked up a lot of
criticism for its bezels, which are
mere millimeters thicker than the
iPhone XS and symmetrical all
around, but the Galaxy S10e has
thick side bezels and a giant fore-
head and chin, not to mention a
giant hole in the screen for the
camera. What was that Samsung
fans were saying about the notch?
The value is greater with the
iPhone XR
The S10e may be just a buck more
expensive than the iPhone XR, but
Apple and Samsung have different
definitions of value. For example,
the 6.4-inch S10+ with 128GB of
storage starts costs a thousand
bucks, $100 less than the 6.5-inch
XS Max with half the storage. Put
it another way: The cheapest S10e
actually costs $30 more than the
Four ways Samsung’s Galaxy
S10e blows away the iPhone XR
(and four ways it doesn’t)
Samsung’s new low-cost phone is aimed at the XR, but how
does it measure up?
Apple might be struggling to sell the iPhone XR, but that’s not stop-
ping Samsung from using a similar strategy with the launch of the
new Galaxy S10 line. Alongside the usual regular and plus models,
Samsung has also released the S10e, which takesnay rips outa
page from Apple’s playbook.
As with everything Apple and Samsung, the two phones are not
created equal. They may both have the same $750 price tag and pre-
mium sensibilities, but the S10e plays by a different set of rules, for
better and worse.
4 ways the Galaxy S10e beats the iPhone XR
The S10e has an OLED screen
The biggest difference between the iPhone XR and XS is obviously
the display. Where the XS has a brilliant HDR OLED display, the
XR has a 179x828 LCD screen with a just-enough-to-be-Retina 326
ppi. The S10e, on the other hand, doesn’t skimp nearly as much on
the display. Like the S10, it also has an OLED display, though with
fewer pixels: it’s only full HD (1080) versus quad HD (1440) on the
S10 and S10+. But it’s still a whole lot better than the XR’s, liquid
retina and all.
The Samsung Galaxy S10e has a dual camera while the XR only has
Aside from the screen, Apple also downgraded the camera on the XR,
opting for a single 12 megapixel wide-angle lens rather than the dual
12 megapixel wide-angle and telephoto array on the XS. Samsung, too,
has put a lesser-quality camera in the S10e, but that’s only because its
larger phones have three cameras. The S10e pair a 16 megapixel wltra-
wide lens with a 12 megapixel wide-angle lens for true portraits, along
with 4K selfies, super steady video, and super slo-mo.
You can use the S10e to charge another phone
One of the S10’s premier features is called Wireless PowerShare,
which lets you charge another phone using the back of the S10 as a
Bayon Pearnik®
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The Bayon Pearnik is an independent magazine dedicated to raising beer
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“We accept anybody’s ravings—we often print them!”
cheapest S9 did when it launched. Granted, you get a dual camera here
and twice as much storage, but customers might not notice all that.
With the iPhone XR, Apple is offering a real savings over the XS, but
with the S10e, it’s not so clear.
The Galaxy S10e isn’t such a great value compared to the S10.
The S10e’s battery life probably won’t be great
The iPhone XR’s best feature is its battery life, which can easily power
through a day of streaming and surfing despite its relatively small
2,942 mAh battery. The S10e has a larger battery than the XR3,100
mAhbut based on past Galaxy performance, that might not get you
through a full day of heavy use. With the XR, Apple sacrificed screen
quality for better battery life on the XR, but that might not be the case
with the S10e.
ell it appears this has been one on the most boring
(or normal) periods down by the coast for quite a
while. Not a lot has happened, especially in the Barang circles,
the craziness of Wet season madness has disappeared. It is so
quiet that it appears that one news source is repeating last years
story of the bull attack on Kho Rong as if it is current news.
In good old Kamot, there has not been too much happening.
Sure you have the usual events of drunken Barangs crashing
motos and hurting themselves (thankfully not too badly). Hope-
fully they are crashing the right moto as there seems to be a
never ending stream of posts on facebook asking for people to
return the correct moto (or the realisation that it has been stolen).
Speaking of stolen there has been several reported incidents of
bag snatching, especially from Western females, with the round-
abouts being a prime location.If you think this is bad, get pre-
pared for the period starting from late March in the lead up to
Khmer New Year, which is known as robbery week but now
starts a few weeks earlier.
In bar news, the former Walkabout Bar has been reopened as the
Raging Bull Sports Bar, by a group from Sihanoukville includ-
ing John from the Aqua. Daryl the manager has put up an im-
pressive array of sports memorabilia including Ali Frazer box-
ing gloves, a signed Pele Brazilian football jersey and quite a bit
more. Raging Bull is air-conditioned and will be non-smoking
inside. Friday night is killer pool night which is run and hosted
by the very GaryBellam, formerly the owner of the Shipwreck
Bar in the now gone Golden Lions Plaza in Sihanoukville.
The poker game that was located downstairs at the Durian Sports
Bar has moved in upstairs at Raging Bull with a group of new
owners of the game. Meanwhile the smaller stakes poker game
that was located at the River lodge has wound up and the Durian
Sports bar is urgently for sale.
Marco Polo restaurant in Sihanoukville town has closed down,
the latest victim of Chinese development. They will soon be
followed by the closure of the first and foremost Dive operation
in Cambodia, Scuba Nation, who, whilst not being bought out
by the Chinese, have decided to close their dive business due to
the rapid changes in town. The equipment servicing business
will still be continuing.
In nautical related news, the poor health of Ronny from Sail
Cambodia has made the news, with a Khmer Okna friend of his
garnering publicity for helping Ronny out with some much
needed medical treatment, it appears that the poor chap may
have had a stroke and of course lacks medical insurance. This is
a similar situation for one young hostel owner from Otres who is
currently in a coma in hospital after a nasty bike accident with
family and friends trying to raise funds through Go Fund Me,
which seems to the backstop for Millennials who cannot be
bothered to get medical or travel insurance. Saving yourself a
little bit costs your family and friends a lot later it seems.
The new overlords in Westport (Chinese name for Sihanouk-
ville) continue to provide media fodder. Unfortunately it is
pretty much same same, with fights and poor driving and hit and
run accidents. Just beware of some of these people as the police
are finding more and more are carrying illegal guns. Westport is
developing into the 21st century Sino version of the old Wild
West. Police recently carried out well publicises raids of Chi-
nese Brothels, located int eh new red light are around the Miss-
ing Monkey, which somehow manages to survive.
On the infrastructure side, the creeks and small rivers continue
to be filled with mountains of plastic and foam rubbish, which
constantly needs to be dredged out by excavators. It appears that
the new Sino overlords have even less regard for the environ-
ment than the locals, which is really saying something. In this
regard the islands are sounding like they are becoming more and
more like Westport every day. There is much concern that the
new and first Casino to open on the islands, on Kho Rong-
Sanleom, is spewing raw sewage into the bay. Whilst this con-
cern is admirable we note that most of the other accommoda-
tions on the islands, including the much vaunted Eco accommo-
dation, pretty much continue to do
the same.
On the sewerage side of things the
(in) Competent Authorities have
announced that the hastily ordered
and constructed new sewerage
works are nearing completion and
there will be several treatment fa-
cilities. They say this will sop 100%
or sewerage entering the sea in dry
season and 80% in wet season. Here
is a hint, separate your sewerage
system from your stormwater sys-
tem. We have hopes that this will
work, but those hopes are not very
On a less shitty note we note that
one of our favourite points of
amusement, the affable Dave-Ex,
now appears to be helping out
working part time at the new Rag-
ing Bull Sports bar in Kampot, so
drop in and meet the person behind
the growing legend!