can’t help wanting more, but there’s that price to pay. Still it’s
great to be in a place where it’s cheap enough to indulge when
you want. At a price of one dollar or less in my favorite bars, my
maximum four or five beers in one night is easy on a limited pen-
sion.
Here in Kampot many of us do our socializing in bars. While
hanging out at friend’s places is also cool, bars offer lot more in
terms of getting together and not just meeting friends, but poten-
tial new friends. With alcohol as a lubricant, it can be very enjoy-
able. Back in the states I’d be home six nights a week drinking by
myself. It would be excruciatingly boring, just like the two nights
a week here I force myself to stay home and not drink. In fact the
brew is really starting to weigh on me physically, but still, the
music, the laughter, the good times are irreplaceable and would
be sorely missed if I had to be back there where I couldn’t afford
to go out much.
I talked to a Swedish guy not long ago who said people don’t go
out much there partly because the penalty for getting stopped
driving home with even a small amount of alcohol in your system
can be severe. It’s also very expensive to drink, so they stay
home: what kind of life is that? Maybe you’re not damaging your
body, but that kind of living could be really depressing, espe-
cially if you don’t have a lot of friends or romantic possibilities.
And maybe it’s more damaging to your body to be unhappy than
it is to have a couple beers.
Many studies have shown that people who drink a moderate 2
drinks a day live longer than teetotalers. A more recent study
claimed that any alcohol is bad for you, but I don’t buy it, I won’t
buy it. People have been imbibing alcoholic drinks for millennia.
Besides, if it was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for
me: remember, His first miracle was turning water into wine.
When you place high taxes on alcohol you are penalizing the
poor for being poor. Even in a rich country like Sweden there are
lots of people on low incomes. With difficult lives, they’re the
ones that need a drink now and then as much or even more than
those who are better off. It’s true that Scandinavians have had a
reputation as hard drinkers and that responsible governments
would want to curb those excesses, but those long winter nights
are so dark and cold, they can hardly be faulted for needing a bit
of cheering up.
If you’re into spirits, here it’s nothing compared what they cost in
the west. Imagine a liter bottle of Baileys for $15, I hear it’s $75
in Australia. Or a shot in a pub for $2 or $2.50. Why should a
I
n Cambodia we know about indulgence, it’s a place where
good times and down-market desires are easy to come by.
Where else can you buy a carton of cigarettes for a $1.25?
And Cambo brand comes with coupons you can redeem to
get extra free ones. Tobacco is the worst example of indulgence
because it has no redeeming values, but it’s still instructive re-
garding government letting people be themselves. International
players really want Cambodia to increase tobacco taxes to dis-
courage smoking and in a sense it makes sense, but in addition
to cutting back on undesirable habits or desires sin taxes are also
designed to penalize the peons. It makes no difference to fat cats
if a pack of cigarettes cost $25 as they do in Australia.
As stated previously I believe everyone has a
right to their own poison, including tobacco. In
the US tobacco use among adults has gone
from 70% in the 1960s to less than 20% now.
Advertising and promotion of fags was so per-
vasive back then people like myself started
smoking at a very early age, for me it was 12.
My parents who smoked would tell me not to,
but what kind of moral authority did they have?
They were a poor example. The industry
worked very hard promoting denial right from
the beginning so that some people think we
weren’t aware of it’s dangers until more re-
cently, but no, we called them coffin nails back
in the fifties when I started. Still, when Camel
ads claimed that 9 out of 10 doctors preferred
them you got conflicting signals.
By the time tobacco advertising was banned on
TV in spite of the industry’s claims that the link
between their product and disease wasn’t clear
a concerted effort was made to change course,
thus the dramatic decline in tobacco use.
That was done through education. The entire society turned
against tobacco and to a great extent it worked. The expense
makes a difference, but once you’re stuck on them you’ll pay
whatever you have to to get your fix and drain your wallet in the
process, unless of course you have deep pockets. It’s unfair to
those who are addicted and poor, like family people who buy
cigs when they should be buying food or other important items.
Tobacco taxes probably should be raised some, but very much
and the higher cost might do more harm than good in regards to
the countryside people who smoke.
I know people who puff away when they’re here, but not when
they visit or return home to the west, which says two things.
One that they’re not addicted, if they can take them or leave
them, they’ll probably not smoke enough or long enough to
develop a disease, so while there’s still nothing good about
them, irregular smoking won’t cause serious harm. And second,
smokers get pleasure or think they get pleasure from them; part
of me thinks that’s absurd, but they evidently do satisfy some-
thing in the people who do it. Actually I can understand that
since I like smoking pot much more than eating it. When I go
through my regular bouts of coughing from smoking too much
after smoking one thing or another for the last 65 years, I miss
the act of smoking; edibles just don’t do it for me. In the end
result, I think education is enough to accomplish the goal of
minimizing tobacco use.
Alcohol is different. Along with the potentially terrible things is
does to us it really does have redeeming values. It eases our
mental and physical pains, relaxes our inhibitions and temporar-
ily lets us relieve our frustrations and woes. Needless to say it
can get out of hand; you feel so good after a few drinks you
with few leaves and buds; give the plants lots of room and you
get fat ones with lots of bud.
It’s a magical medicine in some cases. Glaucoma is one of the
best examples. One conservative country woman’s experience
was the impetus for Oregon legalizing medical marijuana in the
80s. She had a serious case of glaucoma and was due for an op-
eration on a Monday morning. She’d heard about weed’s medici-
nal properties she lived in a county that was also home to a
good number of hippies and figured she had nothing to lose by
trying it. She started smoking on Friday night and kept on all
weekend. When she went for a pre-op checkup the doctor looked
at her and said she was fine and needed no operation. She con-
tacted her state legislator, a conservative Republican, and he be-
came a strong advocate for the law change. (As a caveat, it does-
n’t work in all cases of Glaucoma.) It also works miracles on
epilepsy and Parkinson’s disease. You can see a video on the net
of a man with uncontrollable shakes from Parkinson’s trying pot
for the first time; in a very short time he stops shaking.
There are suggestions that Thailand may soon make medical can-
nabis legal, an important
first step in ending the
insane drug war in which
SE Asia is one of the
worst actors. Several
countries in the region
Singapore, Malaysia,
Vietnam, Indonesia,
Philippines execute
drug offenders, some-
times for piddling
amounts. Fifty grams of
heroin in Singapore is a
mandatory death sen-
tence. Singapore is the
worst: as an example of its ultimate assholishness a young couple
returning home from a vacation in Australia was drug tested upon
arrival and each received two years in prison for their terrible
crimes of smoking pot in a foreign country.
With so many western jurisdictions legalizing recreational pot,
maybe it’s time for Cambodia to take the lead in our region in
easing up from it’s now quasi-legal status happy pizza restau-
rants to at least decriminalize. A land of indulgence with cheap
tobacco, alcohol and pot is one of its best attractions for both
expats and travelers. I see no indication that access those pleas-
ures has been a problem.
Well, I must admit indulgence can go too far. It’s easy to drink
yourself to death here and it happens with regularity. Add rela-
tively easy access to hard drugs and if you’re bent on ending it all
you can OD any time you want. That also happens with regular-
ity, but as I’ve said repeatedly, everybody has a right to their own
poison. For sure people need to be educated to the dangers of
what they’re doing, but in this case it’s the expat community that
should take the initiative to remind people of the sad potential of
ending it all for those who don’t necessarily want to die but don’t
realize the ultimate dangers.
If you take Portugal’s experience as an example, it’s actually best
to make all drugs legal. Since they did that ten years ago, there’s
less crime and fewer deaths from ODing. The atmosphere in our
region is not ready for such drug laws, but education is much
better than repression and incarceration
Cambodia is one of the easiest places to live and enjoy life. En-
tertainment is one of its strong points. Letting people without a
lot of money stay here leaves room for typical musicians and
artists, who rarely are flush, to ply their trades. And the country is
enriched by their gifts.
It’s time for Cambodia to join the world’s more advanced nations
and ease up on drug laws to go along with cheap booze.
We’re here to enjoy life! Cambostan
shot of Baileys be reserved for the middle classes and up?
What’s so bad about having a bottle to nip on during those bor-
ing nights when you are stuck at home? Sin taxes are unfair.
Some people would characterize Cambodia as a place that’s
gone too far in serving people’s tendency to indulge their alco-
hol habits because it’s easy enough to drink yourself to oblivion
and a lot of people who have little else to occupy their time do
just that. But really, it’s their choice. Sure they should be dis-
couraged from that lifestyle, but let them be, it’s their life.
My favorite substance of indulgence is cannabis. In that case
Cambodia is somewhat ambivalent. It’s illegal, same as all the
other drugs on the UN’s list of forbidden highs and you can sure
get some real time behind bars for selling it, but most times
when they bust a peasant farmer, they simply educate him: bad
boy, don’t do it again. Meanwhile, lots of pot fields are owned
by the police and military. And somehow even though it’s ille-
gal, there are lots of happy pizza restaurants located in promi-
nent places where they’ll sprinkle weed on your pizza for a rea-
sonable extra charge. They seem to have no problem obtaining
it and no problem with the police for openly
serving it in their eateries.
Cambodians have had a long association
with marijuana and it was only after the UN
took over to hold elections in 1993 that they
forced the country to prohibit it. Before that
you could go to a large public market in
Phnom Penh and buy a shopping bag of it
for a dollar. Subsistence farmers would
smoke it when they couldn’t afford to-
bacco… admittedly it wasn’t very strong
then. They’d also flavor their soups with it.
Just ordinary life.
Today the quality has improved greatly and
it’s readily available. Not just that, but it’s
often smoked openly in some bars and restaurants, though the
police in Phnom Penh went around the bars quite a few years
ago and told everyone to chill it. What bar and restaurant own-
ers in the capital will do today is tell you to smoke out front
rather than inside. Police don’t patrol often, hardly ever that I
remember, and not looking to bust for a few puffs anyway.
Countries like Canada, Uruguay and Portugal have made recrea-
tional use totally legal. Ten US states have also legalized it and
many others are preparing to do the same so it makes no sense
to continue a regressive anti-pot regime here in Cambodia. The
criminalization of pot has always been a political issue since it’s
always been clear that it’s essentially a harmless drug. Back in
the sixties a US federal task force suggested that laws on it be
eased, but Nixon looked at the main users at the time, minorities
and the counterculture, and figured he could use harsh drug laws
to target those groups he hated.
No-one has ever overdosed on it, that’s impossible. The US
National Institute of Health has calculated that you’d need to
smoke a ton of it in a short time to OD. Additionally, no death
from disease has ever been attributed to it. Well, sure, anything
you smoke is going to be an irritant and if you smoke too much
your throat will feel it. In my case forcing me to stop for a week
or two a few times a year.
Cannabis is a wonder of the plant kingdom: given ideal condi-
tions it’ll grow from a seed to 6 meters, 20 feet, in four months.
It makes a fine paper the Declaration of Independence was
written on it. It makes a quality fabric and strong rope. Hemp
bricks can be used in construction, oil from the seeds makes a
clean biodiesel and it’s a more efficient producer of ethanol than
corn. It also can be made into plastic and the seeds are a nutri-
tious food. All in all a magical plant. It should be noted that
while hemp has had the THC bred out of it, the plant that pro-
duces bud is just as good for producing hemp. It’s all in the way
it’s grown. Grow them close together and you get long stalks
On a lighter note, the town's football team, Luton Town, was
once represented, on its board of directors, by the brilliant come-
dian, Eric Morecambe, whose catchphrase "What do you think of
it so far?", was always answered by himself, out of the corner of
his mouth:
"Rubbish!"
He would not have been impressed.
But one social commentator said:
"Who can say which people can live in a place, and which can-
not? Who has the right to do so? Only the strongest. If people
live together in harmony, and the society, or community, flour-
ishes, all is well. If it does not, the Society, itself, will take maters
into its own hands, and will decide what is best for the Society.
This is Natural Law."
Another man, Moys Kenwood, 55, said:
"Can't see it happening, meself. The town is a rundown 1960s
sort of place, and the shops are all crap."
“I’m on YOUR side” insists woman who has cut police and
public services to the f*cking bone
Theresa May is on YOUR side, apparently.
The Prime Minister who, in her illustrious political career, has
cut police numbers to levels that everyone agrees are too low, cut
public services to the extent that local buses in rural areas are
basically fictional, and overseen a benefits system that basically
finishes off the long-term sick, made the claim last night.
“Oh goody,” said a definitely-not-sarcastic Simon Williams.
“Somebody broke into my shed the other night and it took the
police an hour to get here as there are hardly any police left in
this town. Thank God I keep all of the REALLY good porn in the
loft.
“I don’t think we even have a police force anymore, it’s just one
bloke turning up in a series of comedy moustaches at this point to
make it LOOK like there are at least three coppers knocking
about.
“But sure, the woman who made the police go away is on MY
side. Cracking. Maybe she can help track down my lawnmower.”
Hayley Rice, a single mother, said, “What a comforting thought
is; to have the Prime Minister on MY side.
“Perhaps she can help me with the shopping this week I mean I
say “shopping”, I mean “visiting a food bank” because my uni-
versal credit payments are caught up in a backlog.
“See you soon, Theresa. We’ll have a cup of tea at mine after
bring a jumper, I can’t afford to heat the place so it might get
nippy.
“I won’t need one, though. Knowing you are on my side has
warmed my heart THAT much.”
A second referendum would be undemocratic, plus we don’t
have sufficient funds to cheat again’ insists Vote Leave
Vote Leave and Leave.EU have stated that a second referendum
would not only be undemocratic, but that rigging it would not be
financially viable for them
Anti-EU campaign Vote Leave was once again fined yesterday
for sending out hundreds of thousands of spam text messages in
the run-up to the Brexit vote.
Spokesperson Simon Williams told reporters, “Undermining the
democratic process is an expensive business. There was this fine
yesterday, plus the three for undeclared donations, the one for
breaking electoral law, the one for overspending on the campaign
and the one for syphoning funds between parties.
“Not to mention all the favours we had to do for the Russians.
Those people that hacked everybody’s Facebook accounts were-
n’t cheap, either.
“We can wear these costs as long as we get the result we want,
but a second time? Not sure.
Cardinal Pell Is Going Down
Cardinal George Pell and his sexual abuse case have attracted a
lot of media attention, and it is with this in mind that I've writ-
ten the latest in my proposed 'Cardinal Pell Anthology'.
This one is called 'Cardinal Pell Is Going Down'
Cardinal Pell is going down
Down, down, in the ground
In the ground, without a sound
To see the devil, and his big, black hound
Cardinal Pell, he's one of a kind
One of a kind, he's lost his mind
He's lost his mind, I think you'll find
Now he's going to Hell, over a boy's behind
Cardinal Pell, his daily 'grind'
His daily grind, as he wined and dined
The sweet young boys, whose hands he'd bind
His own death warrant, now almost certainly signed
Highland Games in Transsexual Brouhaha
The Highland Games organisation, which organises the High-
land Games, have come under criticism for the level of trans-
sexual representation at the games. The games have been
around for over a hundred years and feature a variety of events
such as tossing the caber, throwing the hammer, and chasing
the sheep.
Geoff Man of the Institute of Gender Studies said that the
games did not truly reflect the diversity of Scotland as it is in
the 21st century. "It's quite strange really," he said, "You have
all these athletes going there to perform, and every single one
of them is wearing a kilt and a pubic wig. I mean they're very
muscly and they have nice legs, but where are the real men?"
Angus Steak of Auchtermuchty thought the Highland Games
should remain the way it is. "It wouldnae be the same if they
let trooser-wearing Sassenachs come in and ruin the event. We
like oor cross-dressing sports up here."
Islamic Sharia Law Would Make Luton England's Capital
A government investigation into the activities of some
branches of the Islamic faith in the UK, has turned up informa-
tion that, in the event of a total Moslemisation of the country,
and the adoption of Sharia Law, Luton, and not London, would
be the capital city of England.
This, despite that fact that Luton is a town, not a city.
Luton has a high population of practising Muslims, along with
a large number of mosques - 26 at the last count - and would be
a natural choice for the seat of government.
In the 2001 census, 26,963 Muslims were to be found living in
Luton; by 2011, this figure had leapt to 49,991. This, out of a
total of 203,201 residents. It's not clear how high the 2021 fig-
ure will be.
Luton is just 26 miles from London, and has its own airport
just 1.5 miles from the town center - handy if you need to make
a quick getaway to 'foreign parts'.
The report found that Muslims preferred Luton to other British-
white-minority locations, such as Leicester and Slough, and to
London, due to the community closeness and spirit evident
there, and the friendliness of non-Muslims towards Muslims
and their religion.
But not everyone is happy. Some people interviewed said they
were thinking of moving out of Luton, because of the way it's
been 'conquered' by Islam.
“Our most economic option now is to really push the
‘undemocratic’ angle and hope that no one picks up on our lack of
internal logic.
“After all, a second vote would cause untold political damage to
our country. Unlike the first vote, which wasn’t damaging at all.”
Nigel Farage’s Brexit Betrayal March hires 200 Polish walk-
ers after finding Brits are not willing to do the job
Nigel Farage’s Brexit Betrayal March has been given a new lease
of life after hiring two-hundred Polish walkers to boost their flag-
ging attempts to march on London.
Just four days into the march, numbers have dwindled to such an
extent that the entire march was able to take cover from the rain
under a single bus shelter.
A spokesperson for the march told us, “Yes, numbers are pretty
thin, but that was always the plan. By making the march embar-
rassingly small, it keeps you liberal elites talking about it check-
mate libtard!”
But the march will now move on with renewed vigour after organ-
isers were able to find Europeans willing to do the work that Brit-
ish nationals seemingly couldn’t be bothered with.
Recruitment consultant Simon Williams told us, “Despite many
weeks of publicity, Nigel has only gathered enough marchers to
just about create a football team – as long as they don’t need subs.
“So it’s no surprise they’ve gone down the route of many British
businesses who struggle when Brits don’t want to do the work
they’ve hired enthusiastic Poles to take over.
“Whether it’s fruit picking, digging holes, or working in kitchens
lots of Europeans are willing to pick up the slack when Brits
think the work is beneath them. And clearly, most Brits think
marching for Nigel Farage is very much beneath them.
“On the plus side, they’re excellent marchers, have a strong work
ethic, and have been extremely happy to talk to people along the
way. Not like the miserable handful of Brits still going along with
them.”
Many Brits hope the march is cut short by Farage taking a wrong
turn and falling off a cliff.
Parents who want “confusing” LGBT rights classes banned some-
how fine with algebra
Parents who want classes around LGBT rights stopped on the
grounds that they are “confusing” are somehow fine with all of
the other confusing shite their children will have hammered into
their ears at school.
Some schools have dropped the classes from their teaching pro-
gram at the behest of parents who are apparently scared that little
Timmy might find it all a bit much.
“They’re fine with algebra, dinosaurs and physics though, which
seems inconsistent,” said puzzled headteacher, Simon Williams.
“I mean no disrespect to children, but they know absolutely jack
shit about anything. EVERYTHING is confusing. Have you ever
tried explaining a giraffe to someone who’s never seen or heard of
one before? It’s a rollercoaster.
“So this is a bit weird and kind of a shame, as statistically
speaking, at least one kid in every class is likely to be gay and
it would have been cool to teach the kids that there’s nothing
icky about that.
“But then they’ve come from homes where parents find LGBT
stuff so ‘confusing that they’ve actually gone to the trouble of
knocking up signs and having protests to make us stop talking
about it, so I’m sure everything is going to work out fantastic-
ally for everybody.”
Parent, Hayley Rice, said, “It’s confusing, so no, don’t teach
them that.
“Hmm? Algebra? No that’s fine, you can teach them that.
That’s not confusing. Nobody does it up the bum in algebra, do
they? No, cool, yes, crack on then.
“No, of course I can’t do a quadratic equation, sod off.”
Power cuts everywhere
and businesses are los-
ing significant amounts
due to the pathetic state
of power generation
here.
The kingdom does pro-
duce enough power for
itself but most of it is
sold to neighbouring
countries, especially
Vietnam. There are no
transmission cables
from the south coast to
Phnom Penh so it all
goes through Vietnam.
The same goes for the
Sesan dams north of the
capitol.
Kampot just announced
burying all cables to
The CAMBODIADREARY
Volume 05 Issue 10 Thursday April 1 2019 0000 Riel
Will the
Chinese
screw
them-
selves?
BY SAL UT
THE CAMBODIA DREARY
National Route 4 is 214km
long. The new freeway
(built by the Chinese which
will be toll) is 192km long.
So will Sinoville the be clas-
sified as within Naga casi-
nos 200km exclusive rights
zone for casinos?
We can only hope that the
powers that be pay attention
and ban casinos in Sinoville.
Judging by the amount of
cash they are throwing
around it is doubtful though.
Most casinos being built are
owned by junket operators.
Even the largest one is not
allowed a license in Macao.
It says something about their
beautify the town with
authorities announcing
they had contacted
MPTC and The Vietnam
electricity Authority!
In the past The Vietnam-
ese wanted to raise the
price per unit in Kom-
pong Cham and Thom
provinces. The authori-
ties dithered as usual so
the Viets cut the power
for over a week to speed
things up.
We suspect people have
signed slightly one sided
contracts over power
generation and distribu-
tion to line their own
pockets whilst the coun-
try and people suffer
economically .
Not an unknown story in
Cambodia but this needs
This is a work of fiction and satire any semblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental
Electrifying deals on offer!
Crash of the month goes to. Van Tong, male, 48 years old, an agricultural of-
ficial in Koh Kong Province. He pulled out in front of a Royal Gendarmerie
4Runner who was then hit from behind by another car.
BY CHOY MAI
THE CAMBODIA DREARY
Psst. Wanna buy a
gun in Sinoville check
out Wechat they seem
to have plenty!
OOPS!
he sees one, said:
"You couldn't make it up! The watchwords of government -
honesty, transparency, openness, decency, due process, as
well as the old chestnut about 'democracy' - they all mean
nothing. These puppets of the rich - and, by that, I mean ALL
politicians - should not only hang their heads in shame, each
of them should quietly go and put them in a noose. Not happy
with screwing over the voters, they're now screwing over
each other, and the systems of government. What an absolute
farce! Sharpen the spears!"
May's twin sister fools the Commons as the plot thickens
Desperately short of excuses after her apparent refusal to allow
Parliament to vote on the deal with the EU regarding Brexit,
Theresa May has now put full blame on her twin sister, Meryl.
"No, it wasn't me in the Commons yesterday", puffed an aston-
ished Prime Minister outside her No. 10 door. "Meryl is always
up to such pranks. I was varnishing my nails at the time. You
should have recognized her because she doesn't wear silly shoes
like me. Otherwise she's the spitting image. Certainly fooled Par-
liament, the rascal!"
Journalists confronted May pointing out that she was in fact an
only child.
"Oh no, wrong again. Sounds like fake news. We're monozygotic
twins, identical to the last nasal hair. And of course it's too late
now. She's ruined it for me. I'll just have to go back to Brussels
and all those wonderful cities in Europe again. What a shame.
Silly Meryl! Thank you and godbye."
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn was sceptical. "I must confess, I
didn't know that and, well she did take her off extremely well.
What a blow for poor Theresa. I guess she did want us to vote,
after all. But it's a difficult situation for the British public to han-
dle, isn't it? I mean, they must think they don't know what to be-
lieve and what not...Strange".
May's chauffeur hadn't noticed either. "I don't pay attention to be
honest. Just open the door and drive. Could be my Aunt Sally for
all I know. But she doesn't live in Downing Street, so it's proba-
bly not. Hope that helps......"
The plot thickens
Boris Johnson Undergoes Secret Diversity Training Before
Tory Leadership Challenge
Failed "Foreign Secretary" Boris "Bozo" Johnson is undergoing
secret diversity training in preparation for a leadership challenge
to hapless "Prime Minister" Theresa "Maybot" May.
Under the expert tutelage of "comedian" Jim Davidson OBE, Mr
Johnson is learning fast that there will be no more watermelon
smiles, no more piccaninnies, no more letterboxes and no more
attempts at reciting colonial poetry while making overseas tours
of developing countries.
When confronted on the doorstep of his new home, a bedsit in
Tower Hamlets where he has resided since being kicked out of
the family home after admitting to shagging a close female asso-
ciate, Mr Johnson was effusive about Mr Davidson's influence on
his behaviour.
"Jim is a wonderful human being and his knowledge and involve-
ment in our multicultural society is proving very helpful to me.
Alright, so he is infamous for his jokes about women, ethnic mi-
norities, gay and disabled people but it's all good clean fun. I
know he isn't prejudiced against these groups and I am finding it
particularly useful when he introduces his Jamaican alter ego
Chalky White. His accent and mannerisms are truly authentic."
Diversity training is a new venture for Mr Davidson who has
recently been developing adult pantomime shows such as Boobs
in the Wood and Sinderella, both of which have played to sell-out
audiences in Essex.
Anti-Brexit petition signed by three-million means nothing,
insists man who proudly organised pro-Brexit march for
Trump Announces That Mueller Report Confirms Every-
thing He Has Ever Said
Made-of-Legos, FL President Trump, although not making the
Mueller Report public, did give a synopsis of the information in
the report. Some of the highlights include:
Trump has accomplished more in two years than any other presi-
dent.
Trump's inauguration crowd far exceeded anyone's before him.
The majority of Americans want the Wall.
Neither Trump nor any of his lawyers paid off any porn stars.
The U.S. will never have to worry about North Korea, ever again,
ever since Trump visited there.
Not only did Trump or his family not collude with Russia, but
they never even colluded with each other.
Trump also said that the Mueller Report backs up everything he
has ever said about anything so there is no reason to release it.
President Trump's Wall Is Finished
Sources at the White House have said that President Donald
Trump's controversial wall at the US/Mexican border is finished.
It's not clear what's meant by this, however.
It could be 'finished' in the sense that, the wall has, during recent
weeks, undergone massive construction along the length of the
1,954-mile border, and has now been completed.
Conversely, it could mean that, after opposition to the project at
every stage, and a stubborn refusal by the Democrats to authorise
public funds for its payment, the president and his team have
decided that the time has come to abandon the idea as it is no
longer feasible.
It might have been clearer had the announcement from the White
House been that:
"President Trump's wall is up"
although, this might also have been confusing.
The use of the word 'up' could have meant that the wall was now
built, and operational, or, like a concept that is no longer viable,
and has been shelved.
All these 'double meanings' are so confusing!
UK Government In Chaos Over Brexit
UK Prime Minister, Theresa May, acted decisively earlier, by
cancelling Tuesday's vote by MPs on her Brexit deal, a vote she
had previously said would go ahead.
The U-turn came as no surprise to many, however, who, recog-
nise that Mrs May is merely doing her utmost to ensure that the
Conservatives can cling on to power for a little while longer, and
is not averse to making a complete mockery of governmental
process to do so.
MPs were due to vote on Mrs May's Brexit deal next Tuesday,
but, with many Tories having already said they would be voting
against their own party, and other parties queueing up to do like-
wise, the PM decided - again throwing common decency into a
bin - to avoid an embarrassing another defeat, and to 'go back to
Brussels', to seek some changes to her plans. At this stage!
Tuesday's defeat would have been the signal for Labour - and
other MPs - to use their powers to attempt to oust May by enter-
ing a vote of 'no confidence' - something they have now been
summarily denied.
Social commentator, Moys Kenwood,a man who knows rela-
tively little about politics, but knows a shambolic situation when
three-dozen
As three million people signed a petition asking the government
to rescind Article 50, Nigel Farage has said the views of those
people can be easily dismissed because he currently has about
forty people walking to London with the opposite opinion.
Nigel Farage rushed to television cameras as soon as it became
clear that the viral petition meant the media would be talking
about something other than him and his position on Brexit.
He told reporters, “An online petition means nothing, even if
three-million people have signed it in a day and a half. That’s
nothing. I spent a month loudly and proudly publicising a march
from Sunderland to London to save Brexit, and right now at least
three-dozen of those people are on their way to the capital to
make their voices heard.
“Well, maybe they are. They’re not walking all of it, obviously,
that would be mental. And we’re not publicising our daily start
and end points any more because people were turning up to laugh
at us but you have to remember this is a symbolic march.
“These forty or so brave Brexiters symbolise the seventeen mil-
lion people who voted for Brexit, whereas the millions of people
who signed that petition represent no-one but the unelected lib-
eral elite who are trying to undermine our democracy by forc-
ing us to listen to the people.
“Anyway, everyone knows that one marcher is worth about a
hundred thousand petitioners. So checkmate Remainers.
“Yes, that’s seriously my line and I’m sticking to it.”
Instead of telling us what we think about Brexit maybe you
should try asking us, nation tells Theresa May
After being told how they feel about Brexit by an increasingly
out-of-touch prime minister, voters at home have insisted the best
way of finding out how someone feels is to ask them.
As Theresa May looked earnestly into the camera last night to tell
voters that they were fed up of Brexit and just wanted the govern-
ment to get on with it, millions of viewers shook their heads
slowly as they realised this is just the latest in a long line of
things she is completely wrong about.
Voter Simon Williams told us, “Yes I am fed up with Brexit, but
only because she keeps insisting it’s the will of the people. It’s
not. It was, three years ago, but people change their minds. Mil-
lions of people have changed their mind, I’m just one of them, so
please stop saying you know what we want. You don’t.
“Yes, in 2016 I voted to leave the EU. But that summer I also
wanted a tattoo of Michael Jackson, but I’m completely relieved I
didn’t get one of those either.
“If the version of Brexit I was led to believe could happen would
have happened, then fine. But clearly it was nonsense, and I now
think we’re better off staying in. And that’s ok, people are al-
lowed to change their mind.
“I’m also sure there are plenty of Remain voters out there who’ve
had enough and just want us to leave now. So you know what
that means? You need to ask us how we, the people, feel now.
About the real options now in front of us. Not how we felt about
the fictional ones presented to us three years ago.
“The government website crashing under the weight of a million
people trying to sign the petition to revoke Article 50 should be a
good indicator that Theresa Mays view of public opinion proba-
bly isn’t entirely accurate.
“Still, it’s always nice to be Maysplained to, just in case you did-
n’t realise how you felt about something.”
Turn on Night mode
Another huge change for One UI is the addition of a
system-wide dark theme. It blacks out the notifica-
tion panel, paints apps with a dark brush, and makes
everything very easy on the eyes. To flip it on, tap
the new Night mode option in Quick Settings, or
toggle the Night mode button inside the Display
settings.
Jump to the address bar in Samsung Internet
Samsung’s browser in One UI pushes buttons and
settings to the bottom bar for easier one-hand ac-
cess. You still need to stretch to the top of the
screen to reach the address bar, but there’s a new
trick: If you long-press the home button, the cursor
will jump to the address bar, and you’ll be able to
type your destination without changing your grip.
Manually rotate your screen
Auto-rotate can be great when you want to watch a
video or quickly switch to a game, but it can be a
nuisance when you’re in bed or in a bumpy car. In
One UI, Samsung has adopted Android Pie’s ability
to rotate your screen manually. One UI has the
same Auto-rotate button as before, but the behavior’s different when
Samsung's One UI: Six tips and
tricks for mastering Android 9 on
the Galaxy S9 and S10
If your Galaxy S9 was recently updated or you’re
planning to buy an S10, then you need to get ac-
quainted with Samsung’s One UI. A complete
overhaul of the Samsung Experience 9.5, it brings
a stylish interface, redesigned apps, and a brand
new philosophy with an emphasis on smart and
speedy interactions. While you feel your way
around, here are six important tips to start off on
the right foot:
Turn on gesture navigation
The most important change to One UI is the addi-
tion of gesture navigation. Samsung has taken a
different tack than Google or Apple with its
method. Samsung has basically turned the naviga-
tion bar button into gestures: Swipe up from the
left to see your recent apps, swipe up from the
center to go home, and swipe up from the right to
go back. It’s a simple, smart system, but when you
upgrade, it’ll be off by default. To turn it on, head over to Settings >
Display, and select Navigation bar.
Inside you’ll see two options for navigation type:
buttons and full-screen gestures. Tap the circle
next to gestures, and the familiar nav bar buttons
will turn into three thin lines at the bottom of the
display indicating where you can swipe. Once you
get comfortable with it, you can go commando and
turn off the indicators altogether by flipping the
Gesture hints toggle.
Open apps in split-screen mode
Samsung has changed the behavior of the recent
apps screen in One UI, now that apps scroll hori-
zontally rather than vertically. With that comes a
new way to interact with your apps. No longer do
you need to drag and drop screens to use split
screen or pop-up view. Just long-press on an app
icon, and you’ll get a list of four options. Select
Open in split-screen view, and the app will auto-
matically pin to the top of the screen. Choose a
second app by tapping to open it like normal, and
the two apps will be paired and ready to be used.
Bayon Pearnik®
Adam Parker,
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A. Nonnymouse
, Wordsmiths
Sharpless
, Photos
———————————————————————————————————————————————————
Maxwell Perkins,
Editor Postmortis
Dexter Coffin III,
Lawrence Connelly,
Rich, Well-Connected Friends of Publisher
Jeff Elson,
Associate Deputy Editor
Dr. Safari,
Health Editor
Ian Velocipede,
Editor-at-Large
James Eckhart,
Editor-at-Larger
A. Fortiori, Dan Meat, Etta Moga,
Assistant Associate Deputy Editors
Cletus J. “Bubba” Huckabee, Jr.,
Movie Reviewer
Edward R. Murrow,
Famous Journalist
Autmean Loy, Prakhai Thuich, Som Muiroi,
Overworked Proles
Sdap Otbaan, Ta Madong Thiet,
Translators
It
, Coffee
Dim Sambo,
Systems Support
Chubb,
Reception
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
The Bayon Pearnik is an independent magazine dedicated to raising beer
money as well as encouraging debate over standards of taste, humor and
journalistic ethics. Published every month or so in Phnom Penh. Not to be taken
seriously or while driving or operating heavy machinery. Always consult your
doctor first because we're not responsible for what happens to you.
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
Advertising, Editorial, Inquiries and anything else :
The Bayon Pearnik, P.O. Box 2279,
Phnom Penh 3.
Advertising, Editorial : 012-803-968 (Adam),
Advertising: 012 887 699 Mol (KHMER/ENGLISH)
E-mail: bp@forum.org.kh www.bayonpearnik.com
“We accept anybody’s ravings—we often print them!”
you switch to Portrait: When you flip your phone to landscape mode, it
still won’t rotate but a small icon will appear in the lower right corner.
Tap it, and the screen will rotate and lock on the new orientation.
When you want to go back, flip your phone and tap the icon again.
Quickly pull down the notification shade
Whether you use gestures or the old navigation bar to make your way
around, there’s one new shortcut built into One UI that everyone will
love. To access the notification shade, all you need to do is swipe down
on the center of the screen to expand it, and swipe a second time to see
the full selection of quick settings. To get rid of it, just swipe up. It’s
easier than using the fingerprint sensor as a tiny trackpad, and it’s a
simple change that I wish all Android phones would adopt.
Best password managers: Reviews of the top products
We are terrible at passwords. We suck at creating them (the top two
most popular remain 123456” and password”), we share them way
too freely, and we forget them all the time. Indeed, the very thing that
can ensure our online security has become our biggest obstacle to it.
This is what makes a good password manager essential.
A password manager relieves the burden of thinking up and memoriz-
ing unique, complex loginsthe hallmark of a secure password. It
allows you to safely share those logins with others when necessary.
And because these tools encrypt your login info in a virtual vault
either locally or in the cloudand lock it with a single master pass-
word, they protect the passwords themselves. If you’re looking to up
your security game, a password manager is the way to go.
But password managers vary widely in their capabilities and cost, so
we compared six of the most popular. All support Windows Mac OS,
Android, and iOS, as well as the major browsers. And all will let you
sync your data across multiple devices, though you may have pay extra
for the privilege.
Here are our top two picks, followed by tips on what to look for when
shopping for a password manager and full reviews of all six products.
Winner
LastPass
LastPass offers all the features you need in a password manager at an
affordable price.
LastPass ticks all the boxes on our password manager want list. It
makes it a breeze to create unique, complex passwords; capture and
manage login credentials; sync them across multiple devices; and share
them with others you trust. Its password auditing and updating features
let you identify and eliminate weak or duplicate passwords with just a
mouse click or two. It also stores credit card numbers and other per-
sonal data to autofill web forms when you’re making a purchase, sign-
ing up for a service, or paying a bill.
LastPass also supports a range of multi-factor authentication options
for protecting your vault, including app-based authenticators like Sy-
mantec VIP and Google Authenticator, hardware tokens like YubiKey,
and fingerprint readers.
Runner-up
Dashlane
With its strong password analysis and polished interface, Dashlane is
one of the best password managers available.
Dashlane is the strongest contender for LastPass’s crown. It has a
beautiful interface, is easy to use, and is stocked with features to help
you strengthen your online security. Chief among these is a stellar
security dashboard that grades your passwords and suggests actions for
boosting your score and your protection. Only its $40 price tagthe
highest in our roundupdampened our enthusiasm for this fantastic
password manager.
What to look for in a password manager
At their most basic, password managers capture your username and
passwordusually via a browser pluginwhen you log in to a web-
site, and then automatically fill in your credentials when you return to
that site. They store all your passwords in an encrypted database, often
referred to as a vault,” which you protect with a single master pass-
word.
Still, most security experts agree that password managers are still the
safest way for people to manage their myriad logins, and we agree that
the benefits far outweigh the risks. Just choose your password manager
carefully after researching all the options starting with the guide.
W
ell this will probably be one if the shortest Bits
from the Beach, due to well, most things being
same-same and a lack of interesting antics from
the non-Sino expats.
There are some interesting photos on social media, showing the
new multi-level buildings being erected on sites previously oc-
cupied by well-known previously expat managed places such as
Reef Resort, Beach Road, Coolabah, Golden Lion Plaza, Ernies
burgers/Stevie C’s , Bar from Home, to name a few.
Also there is an interesting aerial photo we are showing here
which shows the dramatic changes in Sihanoukville in just a few
years. The most striking is the reduction in green spaces being
replaced by giant scars on the landscape. This is not the only
change wrought by the new overlords,apparently reported crime
in Sinoukville is up by 25% in recent times
Last month we mentioned the new Casino on Kho Rong-
Sanloem. Well that was recently closed, not for spilling sewage
into the bay, but for excessive noise and lights. It seems that
environmental pollution is allowed until the locals have trouble
sleeping
In other barang news, Khmer Wholesale should be closed by the
time this edition hits the streets, having sold off most of their
remaining stock. The client base basically disappeared, as all the
business’ were overtaken by the new Sino Overlords. Speaking
of the Chinese invasion, the Khmer hierarchy is just waking up
to the fact that they almost only shop in stores owned by their
own nationals and that they import most of the goods and foods
they sell as well as importing their own labor. Most of the few
remaining Khmer business owners are beginning complain that
although there are more people in town than ever, their busi-
nesses are suffering. Not that those at the top really care.
Tuk Out continues to operate in Sihanoukville but from a stead-
ily reducing pool of restaurants, which at last look was about
seven places. The
popular Titanic
restaurant has also
recently closed.
Meanwhile The
Small Hotel is en-
tering its last few
weeks of operation
as the landlord
resumes the build-
ing to lease it out
to the Chinese in
May
Meanwhile in
Kampot, Tuk Out
has well over a
dozen restaurant
partners, including
some familiar
names of popular
businesses that
have relocated
from Sinoukville.
In a sign of the
times, Tuk Out
announced that
they will be mak-
ing deliveries until
midnight from
those restaurants
that remain open
until that time.
This in itself is a
big change from
the sleepy old
Kampot that was
generally asleep by
10pm not so long
ago.
Things are ever
changing in Kampot these days. The Australian football season
(NRL and AFL) has started and a few bars in town are showing
these games live, including Raging Bull Sports bar, Bundy Bar
and Salt Bar. By the was Stu has Salt Bar up for sale as the new
baby is making life a bit too complicated. Another that is up for
sale is the Magic Sponge but this time they appear to be selling
the real estate as well as the asking price is well into the seven
figure mark.